Displaced Looking to the Horizon

8 October 2007 (Updated: 17 November 2010)

Just thinking, when I was about 21 years old, I lived for a time by the ocean along with having a job that was right on the sands of a beach.

Every evening when I would finish my days work, I use to go walk the beach and for a little time watching the sunset over the horizon of the ocean and think one day I would go over the horizon, like it was a thought given to me by Allah (Hashem).

While I loved watching, the waves roll unto the sand and the sunset glimmered into the sea, their tended to always be a heartfelt emptiness because, I was not at home but in far off land and about all the problems going on around me.

Also, while I was never big on watching a televised news program, somebody always seemed to be turning one.  I eventually, even stopped buying a newspaper. But went more on faith, which while it was more honest; it was also at times more heartbreaking for the reality of what was really going on and how Allah (Hashem) was see it. Furthermore, what I was suffering was to me not as important as the suffering of others; for I have always tended to think of others first, which too often forget to think of myself in the equation due to my love others and wishing that the world had not became as it had. Allah (Hashem) would eventually in my further development, a much larger view of what yet to come.

It is one thing, for some people in life to walk about oblivious to the world around them and another, to simply ask Allah (Hashem) to show one the truth; for He will do so. For truth, while it can be wonderful at times, other times it can be sad or horrifying; as reality is completely different than what one would expect.



Living in a foreign country, that with all it strangeness, that would make me too many times different then those who where living around me. For what I kept seeing in the US, was a society which seemed so bent on destroying itself in every aspect; instead of trying to build itself up and wonder, why they would wish to live in this manner.

Beirut (1980), the US almost completely leveled the whole city during there invasion of Lebanon.

When the US would eventually invade Lebanon in 1980, I silently hid but bursted into tears for how bad it actually was especially with the overwhelming destruction in Beirut; which would never make it to the US media headlines. For even during this time, of how many Muslims, Jews and some Christians were dying or being taken hostage by the US's hands.

Nevertheless, when you are growing up in the manner that I had to and I tend to think any Israeli that is a US political hostage feels this way, that it seems that no matter where you go that you will never belong unless it is honestly your own country; with that glimmer of hope not just for ones self, but everyone concerned.

I think, if any one had just one wish in their life; it would be to just go home in an honest peace and not what has occurred too often in the past.

Israeli youths push happy paper boats out to sea along the shores of the Mediterranean as they rally to demand the release of HRM Deborah of Israel in the Gaza region, on 17 October 2010. HRM Deborah of Israel being illegally held in the US, is considered one of the obstacles of any peace with the US in Israel.




I prayed a little prayer one day walking on that beach, that someday I would see the other side of that horizon to the place I actually belonged and a little hopeful, peacefulness fell upon my heart.

Also, walking along that beach I used to like collecting things that seemed to have came in from the surf, an interest pebble, a sea shell or what my eyes seemed to just find. I still enjoy the things that come from the ocean for they have a beauty not found anywhere else. One time, I even saw a seahorse that came unto the beach and still wonder what happened to them. Certain parts of the season, I would watch the whales play; for the world did not seem so lonely.

Once an awhile I would see different people walking on the beach also, while some would smile walking by; others would ask me where I came from, because I did not look or act American and sometimes, something about me they "just couldn't quite put there finger on." which over the years hearing such as this, I tend to just smile.

Some days, one could see the local fishing fleet coming or going from the docks that were not very far away. But during this time there seemed to be some type of economic crunch and it severely hurt not just the fishing fleet, but the local canaries and the timber industry; a lot of Americans became out of work. Many fisherman were feeling that the fishing industry had collapsed and never be good again; those that seemed to be worried the most was the wives and the families with children; for several lost there houses and there livelihood.

The US economic term at the time was being called, "runaway inflation" and US President Jimmy Carter was in Washington DC at the time. It was also the first time I heard the term, "scab labor" from workers being brought in from other states to work in saw mills and the regular workers unemployed. Men and women who had been employed were picketing outside the saw mills fence, while they also were loosing there houses and having troubles feeding there families.

Even before the 1980 election between Carter and ex-governor Ronald Reagan,Carter's future creditability in politics had considerably wained. Many Americans actually was not surprised Carter did not make another term in office as US President even before being forced out by an offer that Carter couldn't refuse by Reagan. It was an election year, that the two wrongs still did not make a right. As Carter over the over the years sense has played every form of dirty politics, the view before 1980 is still standing firm.

As to Carter's books on the Israel issue, alleged religious education and comments; has further shown his position over the years of being pro-US Occupation.

The Giving of Love

 During this time, I made a promise to Allah (Hashem); that if I ever got to go home, the first thing I would do is go look at the other side of the horizon and say two of the most important words in any language, "thank you!"

For something some people may not understand, how genuinely grateful I am to everyone that cares about me, but I shall never forget the One who has actually taken care of me all these years; even at times when I thought there was no one, for one thing isolation does it gives a person time to think of the most important thing in life-love-for not just Allah (Hashem), but mankind.

For true love is pure and is one of the most powerful words with emotions Allah (Hashem) ever created. While it can make people deeply sad sometimes, it also makes people extremely happy and does the greatest of things, to bringing light so bright it boggles the senses.

Furthermore, Allah (Hashem) doesn’t chastise someone because He dislikes them, but because He loves them; in the similar manner a parent would spank there child for doing a wrong with a very heavy heart or even a few tears, the magnitude of the wrong accords how big the punishment; too the other side of how great one does good in what He has said from the beginning of time, the rewards.-HRM Deborah