I am Israeli Royalty and a kidnapped Political Hostage of the United States still being held illegally by the US against International court judgment; as a Diplomatic Israeli National.
Nevertheless, I am the soul representative of the country as not just the monarchy; but leader (Caliph) as it has been since 9,500 B.C. ("Who is the living embodiment of the country").
As it has always been for the welfare and harmony of all who live in my country, since the beginning.
As it has been written, I am known as the "Mother" of the country.
I am also the person that was prayed for sixty-three years ago, by both the Jewish Community and the Islamic Ummah and I share a very compassionate, loving embrace for both religious bodies; along with not just the gratitude of these two religions, but for Allah (Hashem)for sending me.
As to the whole of humanity, my arms in unconditional love and justice which
extends to the circumference of the four winds; as a mother would give milk to her children in kindness.
Poverty is not the ills of man, but his beginning.
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. The superior man loves his soul; the inferior man loves property.
When asked about the good man, Kongfuzi answered, "He moves others. What you do not like about yourself, do not do to others. The good man, wishing himself to stand helps others to stand, wishing himself to arrive helps others to arrive; the ability to recognize the parallel to one's own case may be called the secret to goodness."-Prophet Kongfuzi[(551-479 BC) "I am the messenger, not the Origin." ]
The Foundation of Chinese Intellect
The Forbidden City, also known as "The Jerusalem of the East" in Beijing, China.
Kongfuzi's mother was a member of the Israeli royal family and came from Jerusalem. She traveled to China with her father on a merchant caravan across the Silk Road; when she was a young woman, about 16-years-old and married a Chinese "Shi" nobleman. The Chinese nobleman, fell deeply in love with the Israeli Princess; the moment he saw her.
The Eternal Terracotta Army, near this army was at least 90 fishscale armour made of limestone and copper wire waiting for soldiers and horses to fill; along with at least 40 helmets and other military supplies. According to Han Dynasty tradition, that one day the whole of this army would shake off there Terracotta shell and come alive; to relentlessly fight in battle, for the good of mankind. As the righteous dead from the whole of the world, arise from there graves where death has released them.
As Kongfuzi's father died when he was only three years old, he was than taught and raised by his mother. When she finally died, she was buried in Lu, China.
From Kongfuzi's mother's life, through the waters of time until the more present; has been known as, "The Mother of China."While time has never washed away her memory, the love for her and her family stay forever in the hearts of China and throughout the East.-HRM Deborah
Leslie Nielson as some may know just past away and while the US media was only mentioning his later comedy movies, one movie that was pivotal in launching his career; seemed to fail to be mentioned. Tammy and the Bachelor was not so much a comedy, but an adventitious love story between a seventeen year-old girls first love. She was a girl played by Debbie Reynolds as Tammy, living on a Mississippi River boat in Louisiana with her Grandfather who was played by the late Walter Brennan; who saved a young man from a Plantation played by Leslie Nielson as Pete; from a Mississippi whirlpool after his plane crashed.
Where later by unforeseen circumstance concerning her grandfather and the US government revenuers, Tammy for a time has to walk to the next county with her pet goat; where at the Plantation she is to live with Pete's family, especially focal outgoing Bohemian grandmother who would rather live in New Orleans and the new world she encounters after the isolated life on the river and the love that ensues.
Which as the story comes to a close, it is left with the impression the girl did marry the boy.
This movie, Tammy and the Bachelor (1957) while it is so fondly remembered not just as a wholesome love story and a movie classic, it launched not just Nielson's career; but at the time the title song was a hit for a number of years and movie sequels that was not quite as true to the original story did launch another young women's career, one Sandra Dee.
Family movies such as this, is what people should be remember by; not movies that some parents refused to allow there children to see due to questionable adult situations.
As for myself, Tammy and the Bachelor always brought to mind thoughts of my first love and who could ever forget, Tammy and Pete.
Now as far as me living remotely in the area where the movie took place many years later, is just one of those unusual coincidences that happens sometimes to a person and as I sat back thinking about it; I just chuckle. -HRM Deborah
The greatest wealth that one can gain in this life, is the love of friends and the knowledge to know the difference.-HRM Deborah
There seems to be many comments these days about how much I actually care about not just everyone in my country of Israel; but the world as a whole.
I realize it must seem hard sometimes, because the US all these years forced me to be hidden behind prison walls and everyone couldn't always see my expressions; but I have always cared for everyone as far back as I can remember, even with the US trying so hard to torture it out of me for many years and having to hold my feelings tight to myself at times.
For something that use to be weighed very heavy upon me, was being accused of always wearing my heart upon my sleeve and that I should remove it from there and be without any feelings, especially love. Which I have never been able to actually do and happy with the knowledge that I couldn't; even with having to at times hide them, within my US captivity such as the Death Camp; for to show feelings outright was very dangerous not just to myself, but other people and it was more important they not be hurt because of me. Because I do care that much, for I would rather take on the burdens of the severe pain then someone else. But yet, I have always believed in complete honesty, even with emotions.
So much so, that I am thinking there is not the words to express how much I actually do care for I do not think they exist yet. I do hope one day the words are invented, but for now, please know it is like love beyond the farthest reaching clouds above you.
For there has been many times, when I have wished that I could just circle my arms around everyone and make everything alright.
Furthermore, for who I actually am and have done all these years; it's assured sometimes when there is good times it may seem forgotten for a bit, but I still always wish happiness to shine upon everyone and never hardships or sorrow to befall upon you.-HRM Deborah
Sometimes on the gloomiest, rainiest of days; the sun still finds a way to shine through and brings with it, a heart filled with happiness.*
When I was a little girl, my mother used to enjoy the movie "Singing in the Rain (1952)" and occasionally watching me dance for she thought I was amazingly good. But alas, being tortured and two attempted US assassinations tended to created allot of injuries to my legs.
As to the song, I always enjoyed it for it could always seem to lift the chin; for I have known the song much better than ever the movie, which I know little actually about it. Mother, used to have the song on an old 33 RPM record for she like show tunes and it was always just one of those things that one can not quite put a finger on in a thought.
Furthermore, a reminder of something that was actually never lost, but yet still had to be found for it was waiting for me to see one day; as so many things seem to be; when I have been forced all these years isolated as a US prisoner in a world that is anything but grand.
As to the song "Singing in the Rain" it came about because of a very prestigious Rabbi; which I only learned about very recently.
And still finding that occasional water puddle brings laughter.
*Three is a numerical number for Allah (Hashem) and anything that is three, relates to something having to do with Him; which can become one or more visual common denominator's that also reflects outward from Him as into actions or emotions. ( Also see Deuteronomy 28:12; concerning the rain)
What is the greatest thing one can do for another?
It is true love and in doing so, it is also reflected towards Allah (Hashem). But if it should diminish even in a minute portion, so does the reflection upwards towards Allah (Hashem).
While truly loving another may seem a simple task to do, in actuality the complexity is gigantic.
The Game
A test by Allah (Hashem), of who is worthy of the girl.
This prophecy as some that has came down through time in that it is rather unique from Allah (Hashem). While it has nothing to do with my US captivity, but has to do with two particularly equal suitors vying for a girls hand, with her heart.
Which I did not know about this prophecy until a very short time ago, even though it actually began when I was a little girl.
What seems to remain, is a question of who chooses the final outcome; the girl or Allah (Hashem) and more of some sort of a competition between the two suitors towards the girl. In coming more into focus, is how Allah (Hashem) has always cared for the girl.
Apparently in the prophetic writings, it also tells much about the two suitors themselves and very importantly, why these two particular suitors were chosen by Allah (Hashem) from two different, but equal directions; which what is taken into account is different than what one would normally thought of by mankind.
With one element, that one of the suitors did a deed in there childhood and then a second as an adult; that the other did not, but does something extraordinary in regards to the girl, which Allah (Hashem) never allows the girl to forget.
In a much greater picture, about all those who generation after generation has embraced true Monotheism and the girls feelings from childhood without differentiation.
As to the whole scope about or why this particular prophecy and even it was brought to my attention as being rather small, my knowledge is actually very limited. Furthermore, the title to this portion is not mine either and while I have thought of many instances over the years of the answer, for I can only give a guess and hope I am right; of the hints of a very old friend throughout the years.
One element though that stays in my mind on a single day in 1993 from a prayer and that only two people in my life knows other then myself, with one that died in 2003. For I have been told, it too is in the writings.
Nevertheless, while this prophecy may appear to have a happy ending, it also has a heavy cloud of the possibility of sheer tragedy for the girl, that if it should occur; she will never completely get over the occurrence for her heart would be shattered and not sure if can be repaired. Even the repercussions by Allah (Hashem) is evident, for the believers will inherit the girls heartache. But also a happiness that does come that is beyond anything she has ever known.-HRM Deborah
The seasons, are the life of mankind; as Spring is a birth, Summer is youth, Autumn is old age and Winter is death.
Has one ever had a chance to notice the many colored leaves of Autumn within nature, as I was able to see for a time when I was a teenager and how beautiful when a light breeze causes them to fall and flutter here and there.
A day will come when Allah (Hashem) will lay the tear stained leaves of Autumn, as a gift upon her door; as an outward foreboding pricks her heart from above.
As I have gotten older and not able to see those many colored leaves any longer; but alas, every Autumn I still have a sigh and think of the splendor that Allah (Hashem) made; as a young child still seeing a new color for the very first time.
For the world is made of many colors, no matter where one may be; but one needs to stop and take a small breath and look, as the world is actually such a wonderful place to be.
For everything one sees, even too the many colored leaves of Autumn; Allah (Hashem) made it all possible, and for the those He loves, Allah (Hashem) has a wonderful way of doing things. Even while one sits in a rocking chair, waiting.
In the late 1970's the birds were I was stopped singing and the air was filled with utter silence. I came to find out that before the global ban on DDT pesticide, that the US farmers were using it heavily which was not just massively killing the birds; but other wildlife as well and how much during this time it was such a shame not to hear the many varieties of the birds voices.
So many birds were killed there, that over the years, I have wondered if it was possible that any of the birds did survive and if the birds were ever able to sing once more.
The Humanity Violin of Gold
From the time I was a very little girl, I use to always say; that I would kick Satan in the shins and that I hoped I had stout shoes on.-HRM Deborah
One day while walking down the promenade, Mark heard Roger singing "Stand By Me" in the distance. He ran to witness the performance and realized that Roger's voice, soul, and passion had to be shared with the rest of the world.
As we made our way around the world we encountered love, hate, rich and poor, black and white, and many different religious groups and ideologies. It became very clear that as a human race we need to transcend from the darkness to the light and music is our weapon of the future. These songs around the world features musicians who have seen and overcome conflict and hatred with love and perseverance. We don't need more trouble, what we need is love. The spirit of Bob Marley always lives on.-Playing for Change Foundation
“But my hand was made strong by the hand of the Almighty. Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights.”-Bob Marley
Stand By Me
War/No More Trouble
Don't Worry
One Love
A Freedom Wall in Israel (Israel under domineering, oppressive US Occupation/Holocaust)
Peace All Over The World
"Truth and honesty will free our hearts and free our minds, so then our children can live together as one until the end of time." -Mermans Kenkosenki and Greg Johnson
The enlightenment of mankind towards the ultimate beauty of Allah (Hashem), with His relationship towards mankind.
Ancient Romanticism dates over a thousand years and over time filtered down into pale or distorted reflections of the trueness of the Philosophical intention.
Share a Smile, if you see someone that forgot there's!
Originally, mankind within Romanticism could see a beauty far greater than mankind ever thought was imaginable; for it dimmed the ugliness that people sometimes feels they see in there daily lives and with it the burdens for they are lifted out sight.
Three things about positive emotions such as happiness, it is not only healthy; but less troubles comes you're way and the more people have positive emotions it will illuminate outward; the world will actually get brighter as though a lush garden is around you.
What people may not realize, is there is so much more to a person than just walking about and breathing air; as it is in everything around them, sometimes just take a look beyond the obvious. As in the photograph above, while one may focus on the snow capped mountains, the three dark colored birds swimming, the white fluffy clouds in the cold light blue sky or the lake; but did one take the time to notice the beautiful white swan asleep to keep warm in the foreground and no "Where is Waldo," in this photograph. But what was even more important of all the elements in the photograph, Allah (Hashem) made every one; which your eyes hopefully enjoyed.
(The song "Simple Gifts" has no original association with Christianity or "The Shakers." The origin is from Israel and is extremely old.)
Simplicity at its most rewarding!
Romanticism, did develop some of the greatest intellectuals, architecture, everything within the arts including literature and music, the breath taking beauty of nature and all the world was intended to be; but the intention was also the purity of mankind to actually climb the higher plane of existence on into Paradise (Heaven).
When was the last time one greeted the majesty of a sunrise, a beautiful moon surrounded by innumerable amount of stars as the whole universe appears open for viewing; simply sing a song even if one is not sure of the words or just happy to be alive?
Since its first inception, the greatest explosion towards this philosophy began in the later part of the 1950's to explode well into the 1970's with the Peace movement. For one of the core issues of Romanticism is love, peace, freedom and the equality for all mankind living upon the earth.
Purity of Life is Amazingly Beautiful!
The Summer of Love: Woodstock (1969)
In the US especially with the subculture of free love including Homosexuality, nudity, personal uncleanliness, tattoo's, illicit drugs with alcoholism for this murder's the mind and the body, checking out of society or joining a cult especially the Satanic murder cults and Christian Apocalyptic (Suicide) cults [for Suicides do not ever see Paradise (Heaven), but are tormented in hell in the "place of lost souls"] of the 1960's and 1970's for example; was not the intention or not any part of true Romanticism, but contrary too its true intention in every aspect which was the purification of the human soul from any form of sin.
So humanity could be on firm, stable footing with the breathtaking illumination of the original intention by Allah (Hashem); instead of Satan's aphotic, chaotic quicksand.
Everyone living happily ever after, in the garden!
But actual Romanticism is something that is much more profoundly exhilarating beautiful and not in the slightest dull. It is where people have real fun, exciting happiness and dreams do come true. It is were the best things in life are free, such as love and life to its fullest; where the cup is not half empty, but overflowing.
Honesty is still the best policy and Individuality in Society always has a check-in time!
This particular philosophy was considered the doorway to Utopia, with the ultimate belief in Allah (Hashem) in what He actually is about and wishes for mankind. Where the world becomes as a lush magnificent garden such as the beauty that is within Paradise (Heaven); with feeling of being lighter than air, such as the lack of needless burdens brings such as too often occurs when there is sin or unhappiness.
Sharing is caring!
During the period that ancient Romanticism first occurred there was no crime, discrimination, wars and poverty. A traveler, could come to a house and be given the finest hospitality. Some technology, intellectual and architecture pursuits are still seen to some degree in parts of the globe or attempting to be analysed due to there remarkable intellectual quality such as in medicine for example.
Something else that came down more readily from this period, was dancing, singing and the evolution into modern poetry.
Equitable prosperity abounded and the world lived in a calm that has never been seen since; but mankind was still responsible for the care of there family for the sure love and joy of doing so. The glow in the husbands eyes, looking into there wife's face and the happiness of watching there children grow and just being happy to see everyone, no matter who they be.
When there is peace among Allah's (Hashem's) legions in this world, there is peace among the legions in Paradise (Heaven). And no one should cause discord among the faithful, that creates disharmony.
Wherever peace is found, fear of Paradise (Heaven) is found; wherever peace is lacking, fear of Paradise (Heaven) is lacking. For they that create war, no not Allah (Hashem) nor fear Paradise (Heaven); too there demise by Him, for the good of mankind. For the many wars, overtime has caused mankind to loose certain abilities as locked doors within the brain that came from Paradise (Heaven) and shall only return when mankind lives in peace and love one with another; under Allah (Hashem), with the full potential that mankind was originally intended in all aspects from the moment of there first creation.
It is also unheard of to have locks on any doors, do to the lack of any need; for the inventions of such things are as dust that blew away one day in a shallow wind; never to be seen again. For there is no crime and peace is as a soft warm embrace.
It was considered to be similar to walking in a splendid garden with the most vibrant of colors, that lifted the heart on a gentle breeze of magnificence; of a world that was simply golden.
Love everyone and seek to make there lives better; for one should not create sorrow or hardships towards another. For it is better to think of what will benefit another for a better life, then think of oneself.
See Love, Never Hate!
30 May 2011-About 1938, a portion of ancient writings concerning the only female Prophet became the evolution in what became known as the Superman comic strip. Which later evolved into comic books, a radio program, television series and movies. The original reason that the person betrayed became a man instead of the original being an Archangel appearing in the human form of a woman having grown from the normal cycle of childhood to adulthood with the divine perseverance of saving a world surrounded with the darkest forces of evil bent on global destruction by blood with humility of peace, love, truth and the sword of justice; was in the 1930's discrimination towards women in the US which was extremely rampant and so the person became a man, to cease the US discriminatory censorship friction of a woman being portrayed. While the original intention was more in line to the writings, overtime distortions became more apparent, especially in the later movies and a television program. The emblem and surrounding blue background, that became so well-known has to do with "Unity among all humanity under one God (Hebrew: Hashem; Arabic: Allah) in Peace ("S" Hebrew: Shalom; Arabic: Salaam) forever," the essence of what the above article is all about. Not to mention, the numerous forms of merchandise with this emblem or variations of this emblem; now spanning the globe promoting this better world for all humanity, that has been intended since the beginning of creation.-HRM Deborah
My first husband was a bit of contradictions, I say this because in his youth he had been severely mistreated many times by the Americans and as old as he was; he would simply call it "racism."
He was over twenty-years older then myself and while he was Turkish, he also in later years wore a heavy beard to hide that he also had family that was Jewish. While he was not one to overly talk about himself, he would mention little things ever so often.
The first years we were married he worked two jobs, with one being in carpentry mainly towards peoples homes; his speciality was doing roofing. Many people liked his work because he was honest, fair and never took short-cuts as some people do these days.
He could simply look at a roof and tell everything that was wrong or needed repair. While he hired people for a short time to do little things, the main body of work was his and a few times I did get to assist, but mostly as company.
Most US Poltical Prisoners have a life that is extremely substandardly horrible and live each day with the threat of what will happen to them or others around them. My first husband many years ago, before I knew him; had one of his grown sons murdered by the US and would be jolted with the death of one of his children as a mere baby under mysterious circumstances. Which both deaths weighed heavy on him for the rest of life, for his children were very dear to him and he had tried extremely hard to protect them.
Many years ago, he became a widower with nine children and was later requested to care for the children of another family in the death of there parents; so in all he became the father of sixteen children and yes, they later considered me as there mother. Also in many ways in his life he felt very deeply about helping others any way he could, to make there life better is what he used to say and even I had seen amazing things. Nevertheless, in some of his way of thinking and general outlook, he would have been a good Sabra and knew very well what it meant.
When he was a younger man back in the about 1950's, he did own a Harley Davidson motorcycle; in the days when motorcyclists appeared a little more clean cut and were more out right protesting against the US government. Basically, for many of the problems the US still has; especially towards the need for human rights, real freedom for all people instead of oppression because of race, religion and equal rights for women which he felt the US had a severe problem; that women deserved dignity without wishing or the need to wear men's pants.
Many years ago this portion of the Kohn family had to flee Israel after the invasion and was for a time allowed to peacefully live in Turkey, until the US in persuit finally kidnapped them. It had to do with who this part of the family really were. As for myself, He tried very much in our very limited means; as us both being US Political Prisoners, to give me a magical life. This was a man that had said to me, of everyone he had ever known; I was his best friend.
He thought quite a bit of me and was also extremely kind to others; but as the few years began to accumulate he did not always like people coming to the house in what he felt was a bother to me; I would not learn until later, when he was dying how much he actually felt about me. Without expanding, I do not know anyone that could get such nice complements as a wife.
Something, that got to be somewhat of a joke on my birthday, was he use to say that I was actually older then him by over twenty years; not by actual years, but wisdom.
Life in a Death Camp
I have thought that like others who are Jewish or Muslim that are also illegally being held or technically kidnapped by the US in concentration/death camps especially long term. That sometimes, it is hard to understand why you're being mistreated having done nothing wrong; even though a US captor tries to make you feel you're less then nothing.
But needing to remember, that Allah (Hashem) will takecareof you no matter how hard it gets and sometimes you do feel like your running as a caged hamster on a wheel unable to go anywhere; but around the same circle.
Also, while this may seem hard for some people to understand that has never experienced social isolationism; of how nice it would seem to actually talk to a person and have there warmth of feeling. To know that there is more to oneself than the constant negativity you're subjected too and being able to share good things with someone else that you do not really have where you are; with just feeling that all you're doing is breathing day by day. For loneliness can be unbearable, with the added feeling of a type of abandonment; but you know that you do not dare let it eat away at you either. When your a child somehow it doesn't seem to feel quite as bad, but sometimes would extremely bother you after you had grown-up; which took sometime to understand why. For people on the outside may have frames of reference to go by, but growing-up on the inside allot things is absent and being in a place you know deep in you're heart, you just do not belong there with the feeling of being shackled away from home.
There is those in both Paradise (Heaven) and on earth; that equate this type of existence as, "Living in Hell!"
It is a strange thing of not being allowed to show emotions without being punished in some manner, so you try and not let them show; but I will admit sometimes it was hard to do. As you're forced behind the prison walls wondering what the world is like on the other side. It took years, to understand why the US did this.
As far back as I can remember, all the suffering I had to go through was to me selfless. For my thoughts and my heart was for the multitude that was suffering to me, far greater; then what was being subjected upon myself, for this I always understood.
To even be reminded from childhood, that the smallest thing such as sharing two cupcakes; when the other person would rather eat both and not share, carries allot of weight in the bigger aspect of the whole.
Or that selfish person because they did something they thought was wrong and was going to get into troubles, forces the unselfish person to promise Allah (Hashem) they will not tell on them. Even when the unselfish person knows and says that the ones that they are worried about, will find out anyway without the unselfish person uttering a word without that unnecessary promise. They do get into these troubles more quickly then they thought, as the unselfish person stood in silence and watched the only outcome that could be, unfold.-HRM Deborah
When we first were married, he met my mother and seemed to like her very much; but was extremely upset when she was killed. He considered the US man that held us captive as being excessively "crazy" and as for my "dead" sister; he thought she was the most awful, ice cold human being there ever could be the first time he ever saw her when Mother was close to death and her trying to start a fist fight with me as she would do when we were younger (In 1978, she horribly butchered a female cat that had kittens on my bed the blood was profuse and stained the bargain Simmons mattress until it was taken away from me in Siberia, than she hid the body; the cat belong to my mother). Our US captor, considered her something that belong to him and had even said so. She also had collaborated with him concerning our US captors criminal activities, including murder and was brought to my attention that she helped him in the death of my mother. The last time she was ever seen, she forced a visit to my husband's house in an arrogant questionable situation unlined by the US captor; which was about thirteen years ago. She has been dead to me for a long time for what she has done. He also helped me to get out of "Siberia" death camp, which while I never fully understood had to do with a talk between my mother and him. My then husband did wish to also save my mother, but she would hear it unless by some miracle she recovered from the US man having already poisoned her by this time and she knew she was dying. He also, helped me from the aftermath of being in a death camp and felt I should always be well cared for.
By 7 November 1995, we had only been married a little less then nine months. The evening before we had gotten to see my mother and she was in a vegetation state with only her heart working by this time from the effects of being poisoned by our US captor, in the Siberia death camp; another victim of the US Holocaust. Myself, I was having a very hard time taking in what I saw. Long story short, by morning of the seventh, my husband was coming in fairly early in the morning from his other job as he always was doing; but it just appeared to be a different kind of morning. By the time he got home, he said he had something to discuss with me and he set down on the sofa where he bursted into tears. I asked, "Momma is dead!" Him having troubles said, "yes." Where I asked what time and how was he told. She died at 2:30 AM and the US man had called him at work forcing him to be the one to tell me. As for me, even though I knew it was true; I was still having a very hard time accepting she was gone. So much so for a little time that even my husband got worried, that he thought he may loose me. I just had to get over the realization she was dead and not having been allowed to cry for so long, I wanted to cry, the back of my eyes hurt; but no tears would come. But one day, sometime later they finally did and yet, the sorrow of her death still weighs emotionally heavy on me; because a daughter still misses her mother and the horrible way the US murdered her. One consolidation I know in my heart, my mother, like my first husband are in a very good place where the days are always bright.
The US poisoned him during a time when they had attempted toassassinate me and failed, but after about eighteen months of utter horror, fighting every step to save his life and allot of prayers; he died on 25 September 2003 at 12 AM for I was at his bedside when he took his last breath. He was 67-years-old when he died.
In 1997, was the first assassination attempt by former US President Bill Clinton that broke my right ankle and my first husband did everything he could think of to help me and take care of me the best he knew how.
Then it was so unbelievably worse in 2000, which it was a living nightmare due to the horror of what could have happened to us; not realizing some of the aftermath. Which both times, I almost died either having to do with surgery or just before; but I never felt death coming. The second time, my first husband was amazing how he tried to make everything good for me; him and I not realizing at the time, he was a walking dead man.
We came to realize, when I caught him one day almost falling weak in the front yard; after I was able to walk some again and later, did find out what actually did happen to him.
17 August 1936-25 September 2003
[His last name was Kohn and was a cousin. He was also a US Poltical Prisoner and like so many US Poltical Prisoners, the only way he could be free was in death; another victim of the Holocaust. He was also a direct descendant of Rabbi/Prophet Jesus (PBUH) and a cousin of mine.]
How my first husband was to meet me from afar, I happened to be in a car with our US captor and my mother. While I usually set in the rear seat looking out the window wishing to be someplace other then where I was. He was doing a large contracted roofing job on a Catholic Church, which consisted of the church its self and a new annex building. He happened to look down and saw a woman looking out a car window. He thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, that I was misplaced for being in the US or did not belong were I was; that I was in the wrong country, but he tried to think were I could have came from for he thought of different places in the Middle East not thinking of Israel at the time, but had no troubles as to what my religion was and something about me he just could never quite put his finger on it was different then he thought, of any woman. He said, if he could have, he would have married me that very day; even though he did not know anything about me. He made inquires and searched for me for several years until he was able to find me, in a death camp, for it had been like I had fell off the face of the earth.
I have never been sure though how he found out, always felt mother told him we were from Israel; just that he was overjoyed.
As to some of the modern technologies that many people take for granite, because of my first husband I got to see my first music CD, mobile phone, he taught me how to use a microwave, that I was allowed to speak and that leftovers will not harm you; for instance.
While he did finish roofing the Catholic Church, they refused to pay him for the roofing job and this particular job was one of the few times he had to have a full crew and he hand picked them himself.
I never really liked talking about him much, because what happened to end a eight and half year marriage was simply just wrong!
"Leaving the Waiting Room"
After my first husband died, I for a time was suffering from sever exhaustion and some complications from when the US had tortured me. Also, something people may not realize that after a spouse passes away especially I think if they have been married for awhile; that for a good bit of time one will still feel they are married, that the same rules applied as when one were married and for a time, one still sees them in there eyes and no one else; for this was the way it was for me. Then it seems all of a sudden one day, that you feel you are being cut in half which was a dreadful feeling; as to the adage of Allah (Hashem) making a husband and wife be one person and not two separate people in one house. But even more importantly, I did not just loose a husband, I lost a dear friend.
After this, I did a tremulous amount of religious studies and prayers which started early in the morning throughout the day until late evening, too not even forgetting a Friday or a holiday; did a little horticulture and did a good amount of charity work which during several occasion's I helped save an older American women's life for she was very ill and helped a young American girl with a lot of unhappiness.
I still laugh sometimes at some American women that insisted on coming to visit which was after the US illegally invaded Iraq where many Americans were so highly against anyone Middle Eastern which I felt the high heat many times. Nevertheless, they had never eaten Middle Eastern food before, some they liked and some not so much or they would come for tea and pastry to watch a movie, visit or ask about Israel and some things about Middle Eastern culture. Which these same women came away not with animosity towards Middle Eastern people, but I had learned later actually defend them; which they also use to consider me as just getting off the plane or knew, I was not American.
As the time passed by, every so often I would sit outside in the grass when the weather was warm with a dog named Anna for the warmth seemed to help her bad leg that was injured by the US man back when we were in the Siberia death camp and again at a later time, for the US man tortured her several times; whom my first husband was able save by rather unusual circumstances after my mother was already dead and also sitting in the grass I would just think about some things my first husband had said for towards then of his life it was about me, towards himself as he had said being around me made a man wish to be a better man and about what Paradise (Heaven) was really like as to these things he mentioned previously was never mentioned by me or spoken about much it was as though something he saw, unexplained; also insisting upon which was for me to marry once again, which I did in 2005.
On the Chase
Remembering a sweet Eastern fragrance, that brought heartfelt inner contentment; that while it stays in my heart always, was so deeply missed.
Nevertheless, this was a period when one door closed and a very old cherry wood door that I had wished to see for such a long time; finally once again opened wide and I stepped through to find a happiness that was so missed from long ago, a kind of love never forgotten; but what is sadly still missing, is home. I am also still curious, if the curtains still dance on a Summer's breeze, in the room with white walls. And do they still make in Israel, a cetain type of brown teapot.
Where I was and just before it was time, I saw everything from blizzards with sub-zero temperatures, that can actually freeze the human lungs from the inside for it almost happened to me twice; too very heavy rain that sometimes caused area flooding, with high humidity. I have seen snow higher then myself and once my automobile doors where frozen shut for a whole week and I learned that it can get so cold, that an automobile engine can actually overheat; loosing anti-freeze in the process. During this time, I would get so homesick; that I would have moments, where I would lay on the floor and cry my heart out.-HRM Deborah
