Love Beyond the Clouds

The greatest wealth that one can gain in this life, is the love of friends and the knowledge to know the difference.-HRM Deborah

 

There seems to be many comments these days about how much I actually care about not just everyone in my country of Israel; but the world as a whole.





I realize it must seem hard sometimes, because the US all these years forced me to be hidden behind prison walls and everyone couldn't always see my expressions; but I have always cared for everyone as far back as I can remember, even with the US trying so hard to torture it out of me for many years and having to hold my feelings tight to myself at times.

For something that use to be weighed very heavy upon me, was being accused of always wearing my heart upon my sleeve and that I should remove it from there and be without any feelings, especially love. Which I have never been able to actually do and happy with the knowledge that I couldn't; even with having to at times hide them, within my US captivity such as the Death Camp; for to show feelings outright was very dangerous not just to myself, but other people and it was more important they not be hurt because of me. Because I do care that much, for I would rather take on the burdens of the severe pain then someone else. But yet, I have always believed in complete honesty, even with emotions.

So much so, that I am thinking there is not the words to express how much I actually do care for I do not think they exist yet. I do hope one day the words are invented, but for now, please know it is like love beyond the farthest reaching clouds above you.

For there has been many times, when I have wished that I could just circle my arms around everyone and make everything alright.

Furthermore, for who I actually am and have done all these years; it's assured sometimes when there is good times it may seem forgotten for a bit, but I still always wish happiness to shine upon everyone and never hardships or sorrow to befall upon you.-HRM Deborah

Fixing the Holes

My first husband was a bit of contradictions, I say this because in his youth he had been severely mistreated many times by the Americans and as old as he was; he would simply call it "racism."



He was over twenty-years older then myself and while he was Turkish, he also in later years wore a heavy beard to hide that he also had family that was Jewish. While he was not one to overly talk about himself, he would mention little things ever so often.


The first years we were married he worked two jobs, with one being in carpentry mainly towards peoples homes; his speciality was doing roofing. Many people liked his work because he was honest, fair and never took short-cuts as some people do these days.


He could simply look at a roof and tell everything that was wrong or needed repair. While he hired people for a short time to do little things, the main body of work was his and a few times I did get to assist, but mostly as company.

Most US Poltical Prisoners have a life that is extremely substandardly horrible and live each day with the threat of what will happen to them or others around them. My first husband many years ago, before I knew him; had one of his grown sons murdered by the US and would be jolted with the death of one of his children as a mere baby under mysterious circumstances. Which both deaths weighed heavy on him for the rest of life, for his children were very dear to him and he had tried extremely hard to protect them.

Many years ago, he became a widower with nine children and was later requested to care for the children of another family in the death of there parents; so in all he became the father of sixteen children and yes, they later considered me as there mother. Also in many ways in his life he felt very deeply about helping others any way he could, to make there life better is what he used to say and even I had seen amazing things. Nevertheless, in some of his way of thinking and general outlook, he would have been a good Sabra and knew very well what it meant.

When he was a younger man back in the about 1950's, he did own a Harley Davidson motorcycle; in the days when motorcyclists appeared a little more clean cut and were more out right protesting against the US government. Basically, for many of the problems the US still has; especially towards the need for human rights, real freedom for all people instead of oppression because of race, religion and equal rights for women which he felt the US had a severe problem; that women deserved dignity without wishing or the need to wear men's pants.

Many years ago this portion of the Kohn family had to flee Israel after the invasion and was for a time allowed to peacefully live in Turkey, until the US in persuit finally kidnapped them.  It had to do with who this part of the family really were. As for myself, He tried very much in our very limited means; as us both being US Political Prisoners, to give me a magical life. This was a man that had said to me, of everyone he had ever known; I was his best friend.

He thought quite a bit of me and was also extremely kind to others; but as the few years began to accumulate he did not always like people coming to the house in what he felt was a bother to me; I would not learn until later, when he was dying how much he actually felt about me. Without expanding, I do not know anyone that could get such nice complements as a wife.

Something, that got to be somewhat of a joke on my birthday, was he use to say that I was actually older then him by over twenty years; not by actual years, but wisdom.

Life in a Death Camp

I have thought that like others who are Jewish or Muslim that are also illegally being held or technically kidnapped by the US in concentration/death camps especially long term. That sometimes, it is hard to understand why you're being mistreated having done nothing wrong; even though a US captor tries to make you feel you're less then nothing.

But needing to remember, that Allah (Hashem) will take care of you no matter how hard it gets and sometimes you do feel like your running as a caged hamster on a wheel unable to go anywhere; but around the same circle.

Also, while this may seem hard for some people to understand that has never experienced social isolationism; of how nice it would seem to actually talk to a person and have there warmth of feeling. To know that there is more to oneself than the constant negativity you're subjected too and being able to share good things with someone else that you do not really have where you are; with just feeling that all you're doing is breathing day by day. For loneliness can be unbearable, with the added feeling of a type of abandonment; but you know that you do not dare let it eat away at you either.  When your a child somehow it doesn't seem to feel quite as bad, but sometimes would extremely bother you after you had grown-up; which took sometime to understand why. For people on the outside may have frames of reference to go by, but growing-up on the inside allot things is absent and being in a place you know deep in you're heart, you just do not belong there with the feeling of being shackled away from home.


There is those in both Paradise (Heaven) and on earth; that equate this type of existence as, "Living in Hell!"

It is a strange thing of not being allowed to show emotions without being punished in some manner, so you try and not let them show; but I will admit sometimes it was hard to do. As you're forced behind the prison walls wondering what the world is like on the other side. It took years, to understand why the US did this.

As far back as I can remember, all the suffering I had to go through was to me selfless. For my thoughts and my heart was for the multitude that was suffering to me, far greater; then what was being subjected upon myself, for this I always understood.

To even be reminded from childhood, that the smallest thing such as sharing  two cupcakes; when the other person would rather eat both and not share, carries allot of weight in the bigger aspect of the whole.

Or that selfish person because they did something they thought was wrong and was going to get into troubles, forces the unselfish person to promise Allah (Hashem) they will not tell on them. Even when the unselfish person knows and says that the ones that they are worried about, will find out anyway without the unselfish person uttering a word without that unnecessary promise. They do get into these troubles more quickly then they thought, as the unselfish person stood in silence and watched the only outcome that could be, unfold.-HRM Deborah

When we first were married, he met my mother and seemed to like her very much; but was extremely upset when she was killed. He considered the US man that held us captive as being excessively "crazy" and as for my "dead" sister; he thought she was the most awful, ice cold human being there ever could be the first time he ever saw her when Mother was close to death and her trying to start a fist fight with me as she would do when we were younger (In 1978, she horribly butchered a female cat that had kittens on my bed the blood was profuse and stained the bargain Simmons mattress until it was taken away from me in Siberia, than she hid the body; the cat belong to my mother). Our US captor, considered her something that belong to him and had even said so. She also had collaborated with him concerning our US captors criminal activities, including murder and was brought to my attention that she helped him in the death of my mother. The last time she was ever seen, she forced a visit to my husband's house in an arrogant questionable situation unlined by the US captor; which was about thirteen years ago. She has been dead to me for a long time for what she has done. He also helped me to get out of "Siberia" death camp, which while I never fully understood had to do with a talk between my mother and him. My then husband did wish to also save my mother, but she would hear it unless by some miracle she recovered from the US man having already poisoned her by this time and she knew she was dying. He also, helped me from the aftermath of being in a death camp and felt I should always be well cared for.

By 7 November 1995, we had only been married a little less then nine months. The evening before we had gotten to see my mother and she was in a vegetation state with only her heart working by this time from the effects of being poisoned by our US captor, in the Siberia death camp; another victim of the US Holocaust. Myself, I was having a very hard time taking in what I saw. Long story short, by morning of the seventh, my husband was coming in fairly early in the morning from his other job as he always was doing; but it just appeared to be a different kind of morning. By the time he got home, he said he had something to discuss with me and he set down on the sofa where he bursted into tears. I asked, "Momma is dead!" Him having troubles said, "yes." Where I asked what time and how was he told. She died at 2:30 AM and the US man had called him at work forcing him to be the one to tell me. As for me, even though I knew it was true; I was still having a very hard time accepting she was gone. So much so for a little time that even my husband got worried, that he thought he may loose me. I just had to get over the realization she was dead and not having been allowed to cry for so long, I wanted to cry, the back of my eyes hurt; but no tears would come. But one day, sometime later they finally did and yet, the sorrow of her death still weighs emotionally heavy on me; because a daughter still misses her mother and the horrible way the US murdered her. One consolidation I know in my heart, my mother, like my first husband are in a very good place where the days are always bright.


The US poisoned him during a time when they had attempted to assassinate me and failed, but after about eighteen months of utter horror, fighting every step to save his life and allot of prayers; he died on 25 September 2003 at 12 AM for I was at his bedside when he took his last breath. He was 67-years-old when he died.

In 1997, was the first assassination attempt by former US President Bill Clinton that broke my right ankle and my first husband did everything he could think of to help me and take care of me the best he knew how.

Then it was so unbelievably worse in 2000, which it was a living nightmare due to the horror of what could have happened to us; not realizing some of the aftermath. Which both times, I almost died either having to do with surgery or just before; but I never felt death coming. The second time, my first husband was amazing how he tried to make everything good for me; him and I not realizing at the time, he was a walking dead man.

We came to realize, when I caught him one day almost falling weak in the front yard; after I was able to walk some again and later, did find out what actually did happen to him.

 

17 August 1936-25 September 2003

[His last name was Kohn and was a cousin. He was also a US Poltical Prisoner and like so many US Poltical Prisoners, the only way he could be free was in death; another victim of the Holocaust.  He was also a direct descendant of Rabbi/Prophet Jesus (PBUH) and a cousin of mine.]


How my first husband was to meet me from afar, I happened to be in a car with our US captor and my mother. While I usually set in the rear seat looking out the window wishing to be someplace other then where I was. He was doing a large contracted roofing job on a Catholic Church, which consisted of the church its self and a new annex building. He happened to look down and saw a woman looking out a car window. He thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, that I was misplaced for being in the US or did not belong were I was; that I was in the wrong country, but he tried to think were I could have came from for he thought of different places in the Middle East not thinking of Israel at the time, but had no troubles as to what my religion was and something about me he just could never quite put his finger on it was different then he thought, of any woman. He said, if he could have, he would have married me that very day; even though he did not know anything about me. He made inquires and searched for me for several years until he was able to find me, in a death camp, for it had been like I had fell off the face of the earth.

I have never been sure though how he found out, always felt mother told him we were from Israel; just that he was overjoyed.
 

As to some of the modern technologies that many people take for granite, because of my first husband I got to see my first music CD, mobile phone, he taught me how to use a microwave, that I was allowed to speak and that leftovers will not harm you; for instance.



While he did finish roofing the Catholic Church, they refused to pay him for the roofing job and this particular job was one of the few times he had to have a full crew and he hand picked them himself. 

I never really liked talking about him much, because what happened to end a eight and half year marriage was simply just wrong!

"Leaving the Waiting Room"

After my first husband died, I for a time was suffering from sever exhaustion and some complications from when the US had tortured me. Also, something people may not realize that after a spouse passes away especially I think if they have been married for awhile; that for a good bit of time one will still feel they are married, that the same rules applied as when one were married and for a time, one still sees them in there eyes and no one else; for this was the way it was for me. Then it seems all of a sudden one day, that you feel you are being cut in half which was a dreadful feeling; as to the adage of Allah (Hashem) making a husband and wife be one person and not two separate people in one house. But even more importantly, I did not just loose a husband, I lost a dear friend.

After this, I did a tremulous amount of religious studies and prayers which started early in the morning throughout the day until late evening, too not even forgetting a Friday or a holiday; did a little horticulture and did a good amount of charity work which during several occasion's I helped save an older American women's life for she was very ill and helped a young American girl with a lot of unhappiness.

I still laugh sometimes at some American women that insisted on coming to visit which was after the US illegally invaded Iraq where many Americans were so highly against anyone Middle Eastern which I felt the high heat many times. Nevertheless, they had never eaten Middle Eastern food before, some they liked and some not so much or they would come for tea and pastry to watch a movie, visit or ask about Israel and some things about Middle Eastern culture. Which these same women came away not with animosity towards Middle Eastern people, but I had learned later actually defend them; which they also use to consider me as just getting off the plane or knew, I was not American.

As the time passed by, every so often I would sit outside in the grass when the weather was warm with a dog named Anna for the warmth seemed to help her bad leg that was injured by the US man back when we were in the Siberia death camp and again at a later time, for the US man tortured her several times; whom my first husband was able save by rather unusual circumstances after my mother was already dead and also sitting in the grass I would just think about some things my first husband had said  for towards then of his life it was about me, towards himself as he had said being around me made a man wish to be a better man and about what Paradise (Heaven) was really like as to these things he mentioned previously was never mentioned by me or spoken about much it was as though something he saw, unexplained; also insisting upon which was for me to marry once again, which I did in 2005.

On the Chase

Remembering a sweet Eastern fragrance, that brought heartfelt inner contentment; that while it stays in my heart always, was so deeply missed.

Nevertheless, this was a period when one door closed and a very old cherry wood door that I had wished to see for such a long time; finally once again opened wide and I stepped through to find a happiness that was so missed from long ago, a kind of love never forgotten; but what is sadly still missing, is home. I am also still curious, if the curtains still dance on a Summer's breeze, in the room with white walls. And do they still make in Israel, a cetain type of brown teapot.



Where I was and just before it was time, I saw everything from blizzards with sub-zero temperatures, that can actually freeze the human lungs from the inside for it almost happened to me twice; too very heavy rain that sometimes caused area flooding, with high humidity. I have seen snow higher then myself and once my automobile doors where frozen shut for a whole week and I learned that it can get so cold, that an automobile engine can actually overheat; loosing anti-freeze in the process. During this time, I would get so homesick; that I would have moments, where I would lay on the floor and cry my heart out.-HRM Deborah

The Turning Point

Sharing is Caring Song

The Boy with Little Arms
by HRM Deborah

I am thinking I was maybe ten years old at the time, when I use to go to my grandfather’s home and in those days children sometimes played American baseball in the street; on the fringe of what was called, the old neighborhood. All the children that wished too in the whole neighborhood would come and we would split into teams to play this game.

One day a boy that was living with his grandparents just a little down the street from my grandfather, came and asked to join in on the game.

What was different about this boy is he had no hands and maybe three quarter’s of his arms. He happened to been born this way and what was rather sad, his parents who where American Christian did not want him because the way he was born; so he lived with his grandparents who loved him dearly. Which in an experience that was to come later, I learned his grandparents where very nice people.

The rest of the children were mostly Jewish and Muslim, which in those days one either did not think about ones religion or it was just more important that the one standing in front of you was just a person and not like it seems to be some places these days.

Nevertheless, all of us children got together and decided if this meant so much to him, we would let him join into our fun. A couple of the children were wondering how he could play without hands and I mentioned that we would find out.

To our surprise he actually could play amazingly good, he was even a remarkable batter and to this day, I still am not sure how he was able to do this with such skill.

Because I was the one that had asked the other children if it was a good idea for him to play, this boy with little arms came upon himself to be my friend. We actually became very good friends, especially when he found that playing with all of us made him so happy and he stopped feeling left out in the world around him. As for all of us, we were happy too!

Because I was the one that suggested him playing, he considered me his very first friend; for he had never had a friend before.

The Sharing Song To care and share with each other, makes the whole world happy!

Mining an Idea

Miners may move a ton of dirt to find one small chunk of gold. So should it be with ideas.-HRM Deborah

Let's Read Eight Fables About Ideas

The Tortoise and the Hare
by Aesop*

The Tortoise and the Hare, illustrated by Milo Winter in a 1919 Aesop anthology

Once upon a time there was a hare who, boasting how he could run faster than anyone else, was forever teasing tortoise for its slowness. Then one day, the irate tortoise answered back: "Who do you think you are? There's no denying you're swift, but even you can be beaten!" The hare squealed with laughter.

"Beaten in a race? By whom? Not you, surely! I bet there's nobody in the world that can win against me, I'm so speedy. Now, why don't you try?"

Annoyed by such bragging, the tortoise accepted the challenge. A course was planned, and the next day at dawn they stood at the starting line. The hare yawned sleepily as the meek tortoise trudged slowly off. When the hare saw how painfully slow his rival was, he decided, half asleep on his feet, to have a quick nap. "Take your time!" he said. "I'll have forty winks and catch up with you in a minute."

The hare woke with a start from a fitful sleep and gazed round, looking for the tortoise. But the creature was only a short distance away, having barely covered a third of the course. Breathing a sigh of relief, the hare decided he might as well have breakfast too, and off he went to munch some cabbages he had noticed in a nearby field. But the heavy meal and the hot sun made his eyelids droop. With a careless glance at the tortoise, now halfway along the course, he decided to have another snooze before flashing past the winning post. And smiling at the thought of the look on the tortoise's face when it saw the hare speed by, he fell fast asleep and was soon snoring happily.

The sun started to sink, below the horizon, and the tortoise, who had been plodding towards the winning post since morning, was scarcely a yard from the finish. At that very point, the hare woke with a jolt. He could see the tortoise a speck in the distance and away he dashed. He leapt and bounded at a great rate, his tongue lolling, and gasping for breath. Just a little more and he'd be first at the finish. But the hare's last leap was just too late, for the tortoise had beaten him to the winning post. Poor hare! Tired and in disgrace, he slumped down beside the tortoise who was silently smiling at him.

"Slowly does it every time!" he said.

The Moral: Slow (Perseverance) and steady (Determination) wins every time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Wind and the Sun
by Aesop

The wind attempts to strip the traveler of his cloak, illustrated by Milo Winter (1919)

A dispute once arose between the Wind and the Sun, which was the stronger of the two, and they agreed to settle the point upon this issue—that whichever of the two soonest made a traveler take off his cloak, should be accounted the more powerful. The Wind began, and blew with all his might and main a blast, cold and fierce as a Thracian storm; but the stronger he blew, the closer the traveler wrapped his cloak around him, and the tighter he grasped it with his hands. Then broke out the Sun. With his welcome beams he dispersed the vapor and the cold; the traveler felt the genial warmth, and as the Sun shone brighter and brighter, he sat down, quite overcome with the heat, and taking off his cloak, cast it on the ground.

The sun strips the traveler of his cloak

Thus the Sun was declared the conqueror; and it has ever been deemed that persuasion is better than force; and that the sunshine of a kind and gentle manner will sooner lay open a poor man's heart than all the threatenings and force of blustering authority.

The Moral: Kindness effects more than severity.

The Bear and the Fox
by Aesop

The Bear and the Fox, illustration from Aesops Fables, published by Heinemann, 1912

A bear was once bragging about his generous feelings and saying how refined he was compared with the other animals. (There is a tradition that a bear will never touch a dead body.) A fox, who heard him talking in this strain, smiled and said, “My friend, when you are hungry, I only wish you would confine your attention to the dead and leave the living alone.”

The moral: A hypocrite deceives no one but himself.

The Bear and the Travelers
by Aesop

Two travelers were on the road together when a bear suddenly appeared on the scene. Before he observed them, one made for a tree at the side of the road and climbed up into the branches and hid there. The other was not so nimble as his companion; and as he could not escape, he threw himself on the ground and pretended to be dead.

The bear came up and sniffed all round him, but he kept perfectly still and held his breath, for they say that a bear will not touch a dead body. The bear took him for a corpse and went away.

When the coast was clear, the traveler in the tree came down and asked the other what it was the bear had whispered to him when he put his mouth to his ear. The other replied, “He told me never again to travel with a friend who deserts you at the first sign of danger.”

The moral: Misfortune tests the sincerity of friendship.

The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs
By Aesop

A man and his wife had the good fortune to posses a goose which laid a golden egg every day.

Lucky though they were, they soon began to think they were not getting rich fast enough and imagining the bird must be made of gold inside, they decided to kill it in order to secure the whole store pf precious mental at once.

But when they cut it open they found it was just like any other goose.

Thus, they neither got rich all at once, as they had hoped, nor enjoyed any longer the daily addition to their wealth.

The Moral: Excessive wants, loses all.

The Shepherd's Boy and the Wolf
by Aesop

Illustration by Milo Winter (1919)

A Shepherd’s boy was tending his flock near a village and thought it would be great fun to hoax the villagers by pretending that a wolf was attacking the sheep; so he shouted out, "Wolf! Wolf!" And when the people came running up he laughed at them for their pains.

He did this more than once and every time the villagers found they had been hoaxed, for there was no wolf at all.

At last a wolf really did come and the boy cried, "Wolf! Wolf!" As loud as he could. But the people were so used to hearing him call that they took no notice of his cries for help.

And so the wolf had it his own way and killed off sheep after sheep at his leisure.

The Moral: You cannot believe a liar even when he tells the truth.

The Wolf and the Shepherd
by Aesop

Illustration by Milo Winter (1919)

A wolf hung about a flock of sheep for a long time, but made no attempt to molest them. The shepherd at first kept a sharp eye on him, for he naturally thought he meant mischief.

But as time went by, he began to look upon him more as a protector than as an enemy and when one day some errand to him to the city, he felt no uneasiness at leaving the wolf with the sheep.

But as soon as his back was turned, the wolf attacked them and killed the greater number.

When the shepherd returned and saw the havoc he had wrought, he cried, “It serves me right for trusting my flock to a wolf.”

The Moral: Never trust an known thief, for once a thief always a thief; as the innocent are ususlly those who pay dearly.

The Wolf and His Shadow
by Aesop

A wolf who was roaming about the plain when the sun was getting low in the sky was much impressed by the size of his shadow and said to himself, “I had no idea I was so big. Fancy me being afraid of a lion! Why, I, not he, ought to be king of the beasts.”

And heedless of danger, he strutted about as if there could be no doubt at all about it.

Just then a lion sprang upon him and began to devour him.

“Alas,” he cried, “had I not lost sight of the facts, I shouldn’t have been ruined by my fancies.”

The Moral: Pride begets the fall.

*Aesop was a Greek slave from Thrace (Modern Bulgaria) of Arab ancestry and a story-teller who lived in Ancient Greece (Athens) between 620 and 560 BC.; most known all over the world for his many moral fables.

Gone Green

The Squirrels and the Acorn Tree

A very old crow set in an acorn tree watching in amazement at several squirrels running about for acorns on the grass below.

The squirrels never noticed up in the tree where the old crow was relaxed perched upon a limb; where ripe acorns in abundance row upon row, more than enough to last a hard winter. -HRM Deborah

The Choice

A slave was standing in the Roman Coliseum and was given two choices by the emperor, of two doors.

One door if opened had a hungry lion that would devour the slave.

But behind the other door was a beautiful maiden that could not only be the slaves wife, but would assure his freedom.

But one catch, the slave did not know which door was which.

Nevertheless, what door does one think was chosen?

[Author unknown, thought by many to be originally contributed to Aesop and has been told to many a child. (There is an old saying among Roman slaves that one could always hope for true freedom, but even in death they would be free. For most slaves, death was there only freedom! Events, such as the suicides at Masada occurred; instead of facing Roman captivity or death at Roman hands, when the wall finally became breached after about two years.)]

The Turtle

One day, when I was about twelve years-old while sitting in the school classroom; I requested of my teacher to visit the girls restroom.

While I got permission, I had to walk a good little ways to the restroom and as I had barely entered through the door, before I knew it, something encircled my ankles and I was lifted a fairly good height into the air and noticed I was looking fairly close to the direction I had just came in.

A girl’s voice behind me mentioned, If I knew while they where there that I was not allowed to enter. While I said, ‘no;’ because I actually did not know.

They went on to ask me if I knew about them at all, again in a calm voice; that I didn’t.

They went on to explain, if I cared to be taken over and be put head first into the toilet. While I was thinking on this for a moment before I answered, about the lack of cleanliness of the toilet in the stall, the fact I may drown and the idea I did not care to be wet. The reply I did give, was that I just did not care to be wet.

The voice went on to ask if I was afraid of them, 'Actually no, but if you please, I wish to be right side up again; I think I am seeing what some people call, stars.'

Before I knew it, I was right side up again on my feet and I could turn around to see who the voice actually was. Turned out to be the tallest, strongest and biggest girl I have ever seen.

Come to find out, other’s had been mean to them because of their height and size is why this situation ever occurred.

As it further turned out, the girl was very nice and we became good friends until the end of the school year; for I moved away and we never got to see each other again.

The one thing among several other’s, we both enjoyed during this time was turtles (for previously, I had four little African water turtles for a time). She happened to have one for a pet and after this little time, I got to see and enjoy her turtle, too.


Prothalamium

A green turtle makes its way into the Mediterranean Sea after being freed by the Israel Nature Authority in the Palmahim beach, south of Tel Aviv, on 19 August 2010. The turtle was treated for a month in a rescue center for sea turtles after it accidentally got injured previously, in a water desalination station. Time and again, wildlife is having many different types of incidents or various problems having to do with many of mankind's developments and expansion of these developments; in the case of this green turtle it is nice to know they are back were they will be the happiest. It has been a question of mine for sometime, if there is a way to help wildlife and decrease the many incidents that occurs from human developments not just what happened to this particular turtle; but wherever wildlife may be. One thing mankind needs to take into consideration, is human developments are uncomprehensible to wildlife and sometimes people may not realize but as an example such as what occurs in the US quite often that some developments are going into animal hunting territories to create a smaller area for hunting, so these animals are venturing among mankind to find food. Which sometimes, humans and animals are colliding; while the human may think they have the right to be in that particular place, they need to understand so does the animal and sometimes the two meet with defence. For the human presence, can make the animal feel threatened; such as a case a few years ago in the US, of a man jogging and was attacked by a bear. Nevertheless, what people need to remember with these developments; they are still responsible for the care of the wildlife as what helped the turtle and to always make them have a happy life.

All wildlife have there own language, culture, go to school usually by there mothers, have the capacity of many levels of intelligence and the same emotions just as humans, they do believe in Allah (Hashem), have laws to govern them and will execute said laws if necessary especially if a crime has been committed and like humans, they do not all look alike but should be appreciated, too being cared for as was directed by Allah (Hashem). Humans can develop friendships with those known as apart of the "Animal Kingdom," it doesn' t make a difference if they can walk, fly or swim; but they need respect and love, just like humans. But wildlife do have troubles understanding why humans do some of the things they do and the extreme efforts in some things that they would deem unnecessary; for so many thing Allah (Hashem) has creating for every one's survival and while wildlife is more apt to use many of these things or do them, humans have either forgotten, use little, destroyed and in some cases tossed completely to the wayside. 

There will come a time when all wildlife will become silent by Allah's (Hashem's) command, they will began to attack humans for there evil deeds perpetrated towards the Animal Kingdom; such as human arrogance thinking they are better them, too oppression and for not doing what Allah (Hashem) commanded concerning, His beloved child, for they love also and in times of troubles, sickness or injury the wildlife knows to seek her out for her loving, kindness upon them for they know she will understand and they can see the truth of all that she is. Which it has already began!-HRM Deborah

Through the eyes of the sea lion, after they kissed an Archangels cheek; causing the Angel to chuckle a little at the tickling whiskers.

A crowded sidewalk in New York City

Mrs. Zook, My First Blowfish and Colorado Rock Candy

Usually in ones school years they remember a favorite teacher, for me it was a private teacher that even to this day is so dear to my heart along with her husband, her name was Mrs. Zook.

We had just moved into this neighborhood and I was to attend second grade at the same school a few years later, that I would meet and be a teacher for my good friend Aaron.

I had not been in this grade long when I developed a health problem for a time because of California smog, which at times I had to stay at home and with the other problems at home during this time; it was not very pleasant.

Nevertheless, upon my mother's instance a private teacher was finally hired because of her worries of me getting too far behind in my learning. Which the second grade teacher in that short time had already accused me of being a poor student.

When Mrs. Zook was hired, she had to go meet my second grade teacher and get my lesson’s, over time she had to go back and forth on numerous occasions, but her first visit I will never forget. The second grade teacher accused me of being dumb among other things and outright insulted Mrs. Zook. Mrs. Zook, not telling me exactly what the second grade teacher said, because she thought it was not for children’s ears and that Mrs. Zook said she had never met a dumb child. But I did learn later, while the insults where those people actually do not repeat, they where Anti-Semantic in connotation which Mrs. Zook admitted and she also told me to always be careful when I was around that teacher.

Mrs. Zook was not only and excellent teacher, making learning enjoyable with such books as one that taught phonics with somersaulting pixies and for a treat because she thought I was actually an outstanding student was a piece of Colorado rock candy; that she use to receive from her daughter. She kept the candy in a bowl on top her piano, which she played sometimes, because she felt it would make me happy.

Even without my lesson’s I spent a lot of time there, for it was like an oasis from the outside hardship’s and when I was to learn about her husband’s terminal illness, use to go into their library to help him feel better; we usually talked until I knew I had to go home. When he was having a good day, he used to have a wood workshop in his garage where he made some of the most wonderful things. When I was having my sick days, he made colorful beautiful wooden birds on these metal sticks to be placed outside my window to make me feel better, among other things; which sadly have disappeared over time.

My mother use to also go visit with Mrs. Zook and have tea, which we all became like one very happy family.

Some days if the weather was nice, we would go sit in the patio; my first time I saw something that while I had never seen one before, at first was not sure it was real-a blowfish. Mrs. Zook chuckled when I asked if it was real, while it was, sometime ago, her and Mr. Zook had gotten it on a vacation. To this day, I can still see it in my mind’s eye suspended from the roof of that patio.

Eventually, Mr. Zook's health got so bad, they where going to move where their daughter was and while I never where to see them again; I still would walk by there apartment to just take a little time to think about them.- HRM Deborah

Aaron and the Remedial Teacher

When I was in my last year of elementary school, which going to this school was no better then the hardships I was having to endure at home.

For this school not only had Anti-Semantic segregation, but outright cruelty, which made one work twice as hard to even attempt at an education and one never knew from one minute to the next if someone was going to attack and try to hurt you.

Nevertheless, one day my teacher requested to speak to me privately to ask if I wished to be a remedial teacher, for students about two grades younger then me; which I was very happy to do.

The first teaching session, I found out that I was actually to only have one particular student and his name was Aaron. The reason I was chosen was because no one else wanted to teach or help Aaron learn, because he was Jewish.

While I do not remember or ever knew Aaron’s last name, but he always reminded me of his appearance and demeanor as coming from the Kohn family; which if he was, we where actually cousins.

Aaron’s actual learning difficulty was he was singled out from the rest of the students, as I was and had to suffer much of the same mistreatment in school as I was having to endure and it made not just learning difficult; but just the day by day being in school.

Aaron was actually a brilliant student, but because of the Anti-Semitic bullying hardships he just needed a little help to understand that while what was going on was not his fault anymore then it was mine; but the workbooks became easy to grasp. Both of us just had to learn to bear up against the bullying, to learn and he further learned through method’s that I had learned a few years earlier from a private teacher I had named, Mrs. Zook; who her and her terminally ill husband, I had grown to love dearly for the appreciation and respect we had for each other. Also she had a way to make learning not only easier, but enjoyable; which I still carry with me to this day.

One day, when I went for my usual teaching session for Aaron is when I actually learned why I was singled out to teach him and it was because the school thought we where alike with the same idea of appearance and background. It so happened this particular day for some reason Aaron was absent from school, which I was hoping was not due to illness and he later told me he was fine and not to worry.

That same day, I substituted for another remedial teacher that was also absent and begrudgingly by the monitoring teacher; I was given an American student.

Which as this turned out this American student actually liked my teaching methods and was learning better.

When it came time for me to finish elementary school, it was clear my teaching was having to come to an end, which actually I found was very sad; because Aaron was not only flying through his lesson’s by this time, but we had became good friends.

The very last day I was to be at school and I was going to be moved again during the summer and this time out of state; I went to say good-bye to Aaron and that we where both sad that we where not only going to get to see each other anymore nor was I going to get to be his teacher anymore.

While he is another one of those people I have never forgotten, I still remember his sad face reflecting my own as he stood in the classroom doorway when I was having to leave and still telling each other in a bit of a yell, how much we would miss each other.


To this day, I have wondered if he finally was able to grow up happy and how things did turn out for him.-HRM Deborah

Allah's (Hashem's) Divine Care for an Exile

Allah (Hashem) is my shepherd (caretaker), I shall not lack.

In lush meadows He lays me down, beside tranquil waters (peaceful contentment).

He leads me and restores my soul. He leads me on paths for righteousness sake. Though I walk through the valley ( The world of an Exile, which is a place that this type of person has to live which is so vastly dark and dangerous, it appears as the grimness of a grave.) overshadowed by death, I shall fear no evil, for You are with me [Allah's (Hashem's)] protection and a believer's honest faith in Him; to the point of supreme friendship as a beloved and in love].

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (faithful sure footing).

Your prepare table before me in view of my tormentors [lack of fear, for Allah (Hashem) protects from those who would cause harm or even death].

You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. May goodness and kindness (humility) pursue me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the House of Allah (Hashem) for long days (always).*

-Psalms 23

*While Allah (Hashem) may give what an exile is in need for survival, He also protects them; increases their faith, as the exiles’ faithful trust in Him increases in all things, along with Allah’s (Hashem’s) blessings upon the exile and as to there place in Paradise. As an exiled believer, has extreme graditude for what Allah (Hashem) does for them.

An exile is a person forced unwillingly to live someplace other then their own home country or place of residence due to political conditions. It is also another term, referring to someone who has been kidnapped in Biblical terminology.

On a Given Day

When I was three years-old, my grandfather had me memorize Pslams 23 and be able to recite it perfectly; for at this age I was unable to read or write yet. At that age, I did not understand his intention; but I believe I do so more now.

On the day I had to learn this, my grandfather seemed to have other things on his mind; which he never shared with me (but gained an good idea or understood, as I grew older; especially with the loss of him) and I was surprised, that learning this was so important to him.-HRM Deborah

The Sunrise

Muslims and Jews should live as one people or as one family, as to the respect of non-interference of each other’s faith and each other‘s person; but are also bound in mutual friendship one with the other.

In the event of war, each should come to the assistance of the other against the third party who is the aggressor, who has caused the Jews and Muslims to aggrieve and these types of circumstances shall not be found among you at any time. But it should reminded at this time, war does rage upon both Jew and Muslim; by a third party.

In the event of an attack, Jews and Muslims are to join hands to defend from the oppressor who wages war upon these two faiths. For it is permissible to wage war in defense against those who attack this unified family, as in the instance of the third party; as long as you’re not the aggressor, for Allah (Hashem) loves not the aggressor.

As to Jews and Muslims, they are to keep peace among each other and no shedding of blood shall be found among you, for this is forbidden; as their shall never be any ill-regard or disrespect among these two faith’s.

As to other religions, one shall give in friendship with those who have no enmity of any kind, who has sincere intention with god-fearing forbearance; excluding those who wage war and aggression against you, including the imposition of Anti-Semitism and Islamophobia . -HRM Deborah

Allah (G-d) is Your Friend

Allah (Hashem, G-d) is always your true friend and His messenger and those who believe, as to those who follow His laws in humility.-HRM Deborah

Good First

2 March 2008

One thing I learned the other day about myself that I did not realize, because I thought all people thought the same way.

I always believe in the good of any situation, even for example, when I first meet people. I look for the good in them first, for I do not like to have bad thoughts.

A friend told me, that most people see or think the bad first and then look for the good.

I wish all people could see the good first, for it would make life easier and people happier; as for friendship‘s they would bond forever.

As for the world, they would most assuredly have less problems to contend with; for good always triumph's over the other.-HRM Deborah

Loving Everyone...

Not only makes the world brighter, but makes life Beautiful for all.

Instead of Kicking Dirt

Peace can take just a smile
A simple task of kindness
Knowing what is good and just
Carrying goodwill for all.

Today may be in darkness
But tomorrow is another day
We do not have to crawl in squalor
Or hate a living soul.

Love can mend a lot of sorrow
A simple, How are you?”
Can make the sun seem brighter?
Even an old worn hand in kindness, can melt stone.

Instead of kicking dirt along the road of life
Hold your head up
And do what is right?

-HRM Deborah

Daylight for a Future

 (In Memory of Anna 1992-2006)

I stand tall
Looking at the beauty before me
Never looking at the past
For the sorrow is but a memory
Broken of chains
As the heartache fades
To yesterday
I almost feel
Like a child seeing daylight
For the very first time.

-HRM Deborah

The Coming by Allah's (Hashem's) Time

The Anna that this poem is about was actually a sheep dog (Breed, Collie and Australian Blue Heeler) and what I learned from her life. I had her since she was three months after her birth; for at this time, I did have a small flock of sheep.

She saved my life in 1997, when my ankle was very badly broken; because she was so big, with her help I used her back to help me stand up and she helped me further; to get to the phone and call for help. By evening, I was at the hospital.

She did numerous other things in her life not only taking care of the sheep for a time; but caring for me and my first husband, until he was martyred in 2003.

She was stolen in 2005 and killed (with poison) by 2006, as a form of attack at me and I will admit for all her hard work and what she did for me in her life; I did love her.

The large dog in the desert that was left behind, for the events of time to unfold or ‘it was time.’ An event of prophecy, that I had seen from a dream in 1978, that later came true and in my puzzlement of why; it was explained to me several years later, which had to do with the Prophet Deborah was what I was told.



Which further had to do with some traveling that would have normally taken a person a week or more, I made it in three and half days; even stopping so an American woman traveling with me for she had no other way to travel safely, could make a travel connection to go be with her mother. The destination was New Orleans, Louisiana; where a month and half later, Hurricane's Katrina and Rita came.



This was one of those cases, I listened to Allah (Hashem) in making the trip; for to me, He was the one sending me there and also, came finally answers to some reoccurring prayers that were not just mine; but others out of the purity of love. What seemed as a good bit of time for I was in mourning, I could feel a commotion and was hearing many things, but was not always fully understanding why these prayers were occurring, with many sorrow ridden with tears and why people were not just calling my name or talking to me. The weight of feelings beyond myself, got extremely heavy not long after my first husband had been killed and my overwhelming feelings of wishing to reach out and give comfort; it became so much so, that I ask my very old friend about the time.



Very shortly after this, the US was very diligently attempted to assassinate me by numerous disgusting methods and putting me through one of the first extreme trials of my life. On one particular day, I actually saw for the first time; two body bags. One had been a dark haired woman, who had been kidnapped, tortured, raped repeatedly by several men for about six days; then butchered into pieces while still alive in the apartment below and to the right of were I was living at the time. The second I saw, was on my way to a library. Apparently, during this time; the US claimed falsely they had murdered me.

To this day, I still am grateful for those Muslim's that came and helped protect me in every way they possibly could. One fellow was from Iraq who would stop a whole street of traffic so I could walk in a crosswalk, without an American operative trying once again to run over me for they had tried several times before, even almost killing Americans also in the crosswalks. A nice family from Pakistan that helped me have food, along with sharing kind words at a time when I needed to hear them and their was so many other amazing Muslim's.

It was like a war zone, even heard shooting sometimes and had to hit the floor where I was staying for a time. One time the shooting started, when a Sheikh had called trying to help me. He was shocked of the amount of shooting going on, an advised me also what to do in this type of situation; not realizing, I was already on the floor, away from the possibility of the windows being shot out. The next day, I would usually see blood on the sidewalk, but the person belonging to the blood was already gone.

It should also be known, that in this particular US state that Religious Persecution for Muslims is extremely high; with several deaths already having occurred before I arrived. Two men, where actually beaten to death with baseball bats by a mob of Americans outside of a Masjid. As for the Jewish populace, I had heard some similar; but was more muted behind hands, when I asked. It is hard to describe, the extreme fear; that was seen in Muslim and Jewish faces.

"Days of Sorrow"

Also in this dream, I had an appearance as Muslim woman would look like before the "Days of Sorrow;" within a heart more pronounced, with long white hair, crossing a desert (about three and half months under chase (attack) by a Demon [Dragon, who would be destroyed during the time of Hurricane Katrina and Rita and why no further storms of this magnitude during this time appeared]); wearing patched (sorrow) clothes going towards purple mountains (Paradise), for "her time" had come and she would only look back once to the loss (death) of the dog and never look again for her care would always be with the loved ones, who where in "Hungers Poverty;" to be returned to that which was from "The Days of Moses."

"For they which were a sleep has awakened!"

Which further had to do with some traveling that would have normally taken a person a week or more, I made it in three and half days; even stopping so an American woman traveling with me for she had no other way to travel safely, could make a travel connection to go be with her mother. The destination was New Orleans, Louisiana; where a month and half later, Hurricane's Katrina and Rita came.

This was one of those cases, I listened to Allah (Hashem) in making the trip; for to me, He was the one sending me there and also, came finally answers to some reoccurring prayers.