Few Choices

A Zoot suiter (1930's-1940's)

"One dresses and lives in the environment they are subjected too. Otherwise, they would be standing ugly on a nude beach."-Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu (defending HRM Deborah of Israel being insulted by alleged US President Barack Obama)

Substandard quality of life is imposed upon all US Political Hostages and those under US Occupation, in the extreme cases are anyone with Israeli citizenship; with the most dire disintegrating conditions subjected to members of the Israeli Royal Family such as myself. The US standards upon said parties which is intended to control ever facet of there life with poverty, tortuous, slavery conditions; are against all International Laws and the Geneva Convention.

Any false impression intended by the US that US Political Hostages are living in an acceptable environment is no different than the model death camps of the 1930's and 1940's, where later the prisoners where exterminated.

I have seen US Political Hostages that could not stay strong in these extreme conditions, actually disintegrate both physically and mentally; with always the air of death hanging over there heads, whether they gave into the US imposed conditions or not. Some have further collapsed due to the sorrow of being in a foreign place. But yet, so many US Political Hostages die everyday; as they also do in any US Occupation zone.

As the US is so quick to speak about people having freedoms or rights, myself; as so many in the world have never seen any of them. But the ever constant, extreme debasing opposite!

They that are held in a "Living in Hell" against there will, even in a prison of double walls can be free in other ways by a strong faith and love in Allah (Hashem) for it's an impermeable armor. For even the smallest flicker of light, always deflects; the darkness. Standing firm, with the Divine Sword of Justice. Have eyes to see and ears to hear. Furthermore, this place is completely different then where the "Grateful" Dead reside.-HRM Deborah

She belongs to Me and will never belong anywhere else.

You have always wished to surround yourself with beauty, goodness and most importantly the knowledge that comes from Me, with honest embracement out of purity that love actually is.

The world itself, became engulfed in a veil of shadowed darkness; which mankind has to break free.

Love Beyond the Clouds

The greatest wealth that one can gain in this life, is the love of friends and the knowledge to know the difference.-HRM Deborah

 

There seems to be many comments these days about how much I actually care about not just everyone in my country of Israel; but the world as a whole.





I realize it must seem hard sometimes, because the US all these years forced me to be hidden behind prison walls and everyone couldn't always see my expressions; but I have always cared for everyone as far back as I can remember, even with the US trying so hard to torture it out of me for many years and having to hold my feelings tight to myself at times.

For something that use to be weighed very heavy upon me, was being accused of always wearing my heart upon my sleeve and that I should remove it from there and be without any feelings, especially love. Which I have never been able to actually do and happy with the knowledge that I couldn't; even with having to at times hide them, within my US captivity such as the Death Camp; for to show feelings outright was very dangerous not just to myself, but other people and it was more important they not be hurt because of me. Because I do care that much, for I would rather take on the burdens of the severe pain then someone else. But yet, I have always believed in complete honesty, even with emotions.

So much so, that I am thinking there is not the words to express how much I actually do care for I do not think they exist yet. I do hope one day the words are invented, but for now, please know it is like love beyond the farthest reaching clouds above you.

For there has been many times, when I have wished that I could just circle my arms around everyone and make everything alright.

Furthermore, for who I actually am and have done all these years; it's assured sometimes when there is good times it may seem forgotten for a bit, but I still always wish happiness to shine upon everyone and never hardships or sorrow to befall upon you.-HRM Deborah

Remembering the Martyrs

On this very day fifteen years ago in 1995, HRM Zaytuna took her last breath at 2:30AM; after having to suffer a very agonizing death from being poisoned by our US captor and aided by my"dead" sister in collaboration with the US Captor, which was ordered by former US President Bill Clinton.

Just three days prior, Israel Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin was also assassinated on Clinton's orders.


She became a martyr, in a US death camp; that the US prisoners named "Siberia." This day always lives in my memory every year, for I knew her being her daughter for 37 years, my age also upon her death and future heir to take her place as Queen of Israel on her last breath and the only survivor of the death camp.


So on this day, lets take a moment an remember the martyrs who have died because of the US Occupation, Holocaust for they range not in two or three; but in the billions and all those still being held as US prisoners against there will who are innocent of any crime.

Even as I write this with the tears dripping from my eyes; myself, am still a US prisoner illegally held on a foreign soil for over 52 years and being refused by the US in contempt of International Court, to be free and be allowed to go to my own country of Israel.


(The song "Snowbird" by Anne Murray, was in the top 20 on 20 September 1970 and won Murray her first gold record  being billed as an Anti-war message, but actually was a message of another kind having to do with a Prophetess and her relationship between Allah (Hashem) during times of suffering with the visitations of death in extreme weakness from lack of health; which the closes of death being contentment of Paradise (Heaven), without fear. It is a discussion, were Allah (Hashem) considers taking them back from once they came and the Prophetess feelings of some of things she has to see that she doesn't approve, her situation and the hope of future goodness. It was also one of HRM Zaytuna's favorite songs, when it came out in 1970. Her and I use to listen to the song on an old eight track.)

 But one major question remains, how many people must die as martyrs by US hands before there is freedom for all of us and be allowed to live in our own countries, our own cultures, have hopes and dreams like everyone else without the severe cruelties imposed on all US prisoners? -HRM Deborah

Bless be Allah (Hashem) for all that He does and is yet to do.

Just Let It Rain

Sometimes on the gloomiest, rainiest of days; the sun still finds a way to shine through and brings with it, a heart filled with happiness. *

When I was a little girl, my mother used to enjoy the movie "Singing in the Rain (1952)" and occasionally watching me dance for she thought I was amazingly good. But alas, being tortured and two attempted US assassinations tended to created allot of injuries to my legs.


As to the song, I always enjoyed it for it could always seem to lift the chin; for I have known the song much better than ever the movie, which I know little actually about it. Mother, used to have the song on an old 33 RPM record for she like show tunes and it was always just one of those things that one can not quite put a finger on in a thought.


Furthermore, a reminder of something that was actually never lost, but yet still had to be found for it was waiting for me to see one day; as so many things seem to be; when I have been forced all these years isolated as a US prisoner in a world that is anything but grand.

As to the song "Singing in the Rain" it came about because of a very prestigious Rabbi; which I only learned about very recently.

And still finding that occasional water puddle brings laughter.

* Three is a numerical number for Allah (Hashem) and anything that is three, relates to something having to do with Him; which can become one or more visual common denominator's that also reflects outward from Him as into actions or emotions. ( Also see Deuteronomy 28:12; concerning the rain)

What is the greatest thing one can do for another?

It is true love and in doing so, it is also reflected towards Allah (Hashem). But if it should diminish even in a minute portion, so does the reflection upwards towards Allah (Hashem).


While truly loving another may seem a simple task to do, in actuality the complexity is gigantic.

The Game

A test by Allah (Hashem), of who is worthy of the girl.

This prophecy as some that has came down through time in that it is rather unique from Allah (Hashem). While it has nothing to do with my US captivity, but has to do with two particularly equal suitors vying for a girls hand, with her heart.

Which I did not know about this prophecy until a very short time ago, even though it actually began when I was a little girl.

What seems to remain, is a question of who chooses the final outcome; the girl or Allah (Hashem) and more of some sort of a competition between the two suitors towards the girl. In coming more into focus, is how Allah (Hashem) has always cared for the girl.

Apparently in the prophetic writings, it also tells much about the two suitors themselves and very importantly, why these two particular suitors were chosen by Allah (Hashem) from two different, but equal directions; which what is taken into account is different than what one would normally thought of by mankind.

With one element, that one of the suitors did a deed in there childhood and then a second as an adult; that the other did not, but does something extraordinary in regards to the girl, which Allah (Hashem) never allows the girl to forget.

In a much greater picture, about all those who generation after generation has embraced true Monotheism and the girls feelings from childhood without differentiation.

As to the whole scope about or why this particular prophecy and even it was brought to my attention as being rather small, my knowledge is actually very limited. Furthermore, the title to this portion is not mine either and while I have thought of many instances over the years of the answer, for I can only give a guess and hope I am right; of the hints of a very old friend throughout the years.

One element though that stays in my mind on a single day in 1993 from a prayer and that only two people in my life knows other then myself, with one that died in 2003. For I have been told, it too is in the writings.

Nevertheless, while this prophecy may appear to have a happy ending, it also has a heavy cloud of the possibility of sheer tragedy for the girl, that if it should occur; she will never completely get over the occurrence for her heart would be shattered and not sure if can be repaired.  Even the repercussions by Allah (Hashem) is evident, for the believers will inherit the girls heartache. But also a happiness that does come that is beyond anything she has ever known.-HRM Deborah

Upon a Summer's Breeze

Years ago when I was in my early teens I saw an absolutely beautiful room through someones prayer, that had a summer breeze that felt it came off a sea. The large windows were open and with the long flowing white drapes that seemed to dance about the floor with the breeze. It was one of those times that being in such a wonderful place, I did not wish to leave; but as always, I could not stay and enjoy the dancing curtains and the lovely breeze.


From that sight over the years, I use to keep my room windows open as much as possible. The only time I think I closed the windows was when it would get extremely cold, when I would be trying to get some rest.


The air coming in from the open window always made my room smell so sweet and fresh, especially if a light rain was coming down; for I always loved to watch the light rain and the freshness as everything was becoming clean again; even if it was for just a moment.


I also, would wait in anticipation for the curtains in my room to dance as I had seen in that beautiful room, but it never was the same.


Around the time I saw the beautiful room, a song came out called, "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft; every time I heard the song over the years, I would remember the beautiful room and even during times I was having it very hard because of my US captivity it always gave me a peacefulness so I could continue on.


I have always hoped, that one day; I would get to see that beautiful room once again and be able to watch the long flowing white drapes dance once more with the sea breeze.

A little something, I have thought so many times; is the one that belonged to such a beautiful place for the room had overtaken me so and not so long ago, I did learn who they were.

I just wished they had been more pronounced than it has been all these years, for actually I know just some about them personally; but I am trying to learn even with the passing of there grandmother who I did know, because of someone else's grandmother for they use to set side-by-side and talk softly, for both admirable grandmother's were my great aunts and they were born in Israel, along with my great uncles who were brothers to my grandfather; which his wife was my grandmother Dora or too this day, how they knew they could pray for me by my name through Allah (Hashem); for me to even appear.

Nevertheless, which according to International and Israeli law, any child born to an Israeli parent or parents there birth is recorded  with an Israeli birth certificate in there hometown; mine being Jerusalem as it use to always be, as I was and it has been proven. Also, as a political prisoner or kidnapped to a foreign country; one can never be a citizen of the captivity country, in my case the US. That by law and my understanding it has been proven to be so, that I am an Israeli citizen and never wished to be or are anything else. Even with the US government in part, of contempt of International Court on this issue; with the other main issue being of the US government's illegal refusal to free me and allow me to return to my home country of Israel.-HRM Deborah

Diane

When I was seven years-old, the apartment landlord had a granddaughter who was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and had a personality to go with her beauty. She was also, the first girl that I had ever seen with Blondie hair and she was the same age as me; her name was Diane. We spent every moment we could playing in the side yard of her grandparents until she went away and never came anymore. The only time I really could not go was when the US captor was home, then everything was like pens and needles.


When my sister married for the first time into a family that claimed Nazi participation in the European Holocaust, I was only seven-years-old; but someone came up with the idea of getting me a puppy to keep me company; thinking I missed my sister and in actuality really didn't, for we have been anything but close. In the last forty-five years since she left, at first her visits were turmoiled spasmodic and in later years, I would not have anything to do with her at all; for she is an erratic, unstable person, she is not even the religion of her birth. By her own admission years ago, she took after our US captor and has an obsession with firearms and hurting animals. Also, after she left home; mother reaffirmed several times until she was murdered, that I was her only child.

But, I was allowed for some strange reason to get this puppy, which was sure to be much better company then the sister who liked to beat on me unmercifully or hit me with frying pans which knocked me cold on the kitchen floor and then took the same pan to cook the evening meat.

For I do hope most siblings are not this way, my sister never wanted me, has never knew much about me for she never really wanted too, tried to stay away from me as much as possible before she married; for she never seemed to be around, unless she selfishly wanted something for our US captor for some strange reason catered to her, considering she belong to him or she would abusively bully mother and I. She also, always has detested me from the time I was born. Something that always has puzzled me, even years later; if she had done something unacceptable, I was made to pay the hard price by our US captor.

As for Mother, she disowned her even before I was born and even I will uphold this; because to me she is dead, which nothing will change this fact. Mother herself, was always afraid of her and mentioned more then on one occasion; that if she ever had the opportunity that this sister would murder her or just "dump" her somewhere. I will never forget though, that she was involved in mothers murder; in US collaboration with mother's and my US captor who was ordered to assassinate her and later myself. In the following years, she also further US collaborated with our US captor until he was murdered by the US government; in attempts to assassinate me on too many occasions and as far as I understand, she still is a US operative.

For those that may not understand, when this sister was disowned by mother; she would never be allowed to ever come to Israel and her Israeli citizenship of course was revoked and will remain so forever, she is considered to not have any part of the family or make any claims concerning same or any association; this does include anything associated with her two children.  Otherwise, anything associated with this dead sister has no part of Israel! It was also brought to my attention sometime back, that in Israel; she is a criminal.

Furthermore, she despises Jews and Muslims; which make her highly dangerous concerning these two groups of people, through previous observations.

 

In some sort of mental delusion in 1990 after seeing a movie called "Dances with Wolves" my dead sister started believing she was  Cherokee Indian, but she is actually not fully accepted by the Cherokee tribe in the Qualla boundary or in Oklahoma nor ever will be and she has continuously attempted to pursue this mental unstable avenue even attempting to force other Native-Americans to believe this idea and she appears about as Native-American as a skinny goat looks like a Hippopotamus.  She has always had some sort of problem when it came to movies that I have never understood, as when she was a child; mother said they could not see Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" because a problem with her and the witch.  For me, movies never bothered me; just an entertainment to put my feet up, with a cup of tea; but for this dead sister, watch out! As to the 1990 movie, I thought it was cornball and overdone.




This situation between my dead sister and I, has always been in the scenario of Cain and Abel; except in this instance Abel through hardships survived, but Cain still carries others blood on there hands and forgets too often what a bar of soap is.



Anyway, we went to the local dog pound and someone had left a litter of pure breed English Cocker Spaniel puppies; while most of the puppies were clamoring for my attention. One puppy seemed to be sitting by herself, as though she was trying to decide. She was the puppy I picked and named her after the little girl with Blondie hair, because she had been so nice to me and I never wanted to forget her.


Diane, the Cocker Spaniel came home and after an infection having to do with my hand, some swollen lip nods, too some backyard flooding we finally got to be together. She was so young, mother for a time had to feed her baby cereal until she was weened.


We were best friends for several years, mainly because we always seemed to be in the same boat as far as the surrounding atmosphere was concerned and spent allot of time trying to get a little peaceful solitude.


While she was leash trained, she really did not need one; among her many other attributes. She even knew how to cross at a corner with a sign or the street light by herself. Which the first time, she scared me. A policeman stopped us one time, mentioning the leash law and I said she was better mannered then some people I had met; which he left in a huff.

Another day, I had to do an errand for mother and took Diane with me. It was an exceptionally hot day, I stopped on the way back at a restaurant to ask for a glass of water; while Diane had to wait outside. I got my drink of water, but I did ask for a paper cup of cold water for Diane. They asked why she did not come in too, not realizing she was not a person. When I explained, they were not sure about giving me the water, but I explained she was hot too and finally got the paper cup of water; which I had to stand outside and she sipped for she always drank or ate very dainty. I was hoping she drink a little faster, for I had a time limit on my return; because of my situation as a US prisoner.


Some of the forced trips our US captor kept insisting upon because he was wanted by Interpol, she did get to go sometimes.


When she was getting much older with white on her muzzle, like so many things in my life; she was taken away by my US captor when I was a teenager with much upset by me.  Which this was just another case of something going on in Israel that the US government did not like and I was being punished for nothing.


But one day, when I was allowed to do an errand for mother, I saw her with another lady for I had been told she was killed. I do not recall what the lady was calling her for a name. I called, "Diane" and she tried to come to me; with the lady sadly pulling on a leash.

Needless, to say she was a better friend, then some people one may meet going about in life and she never bit me.

The Schwinn

After my dead sister has already married into the Nazi family for this family, who had contributed in the European Holocaust of the death of Jews and Muslims; I have since learned. What was my dead sister's father-in-law for she got a divorce from the son after 14-years of marriage due to multiple adultery, was in Adolf Hitler's inner circle and the family are related to Heinrich Himmler. I was told quite a number of years ago, the father-in-law has since died, but the self-oriented son is still living. In the early years of the dead sister's marriage into this family, only a few times was I ever around that father-in-law and he use to talk as an insane person which as a young girl he could make the blood feel cold; in the US he called himself, "Norman" and his wife went by the name, "Pearl." As for my dead sister's son, while I do not know if he still is; but when he was younger, he was a Neo-Nazi and very Anti-Semitic, which upset mother and myself. It had been said years ago, that he had large tattoos in association with the Neo-Nazi's; if he still has them for it was relayed they symbolized things surrounding death, darkness or they were removed, I do not know. As to the dead sister's daughter, she has severe immorality issue as does the son with long-term alcoholism and drug problems; both children would do what ever she said. While mother basically predicted how these two children would be when they were little, they also are not considered apart of the family and cannot come to Israel.

Furthermore, as to the dead sister none of the family ever approved of her even when she was very young and the only time she ever had anything to do with the family, her hand was out wanting something and never did anything for anyone else due to excessive selfishness and she never saw a problem of harming any of family. To further express, that she detests both Jews and Muslims; she had claimed Christianity as her religion. The Dead sister and all her offspring's, have no part of Israel in any manner nor the family. The dead sister is also wanted by Interpol, for Crimes Against Humanity and is in contact quite often with alleged US President Barack Obama, I have been told; for she still is a US operative, even though she no longer is with my US captor who has since died; which both could be considered like minded in many of the same attributes.

What had been expressed by a number of people in years past, is that the dead sister and I are complete opposites in every manner; even in appearance. Furthermore, some people had commented they thought we came from completely different families; due to appearance and being complete opposites in everything. What occurred is she is as I have said like our US captor and I always looked to the family. The differences are so significant, too even the handling of a tea cup.


Anyway, I happened to be visiting my grandfather and in his back patio was an old bicycle that apparently had been up against the sidewall for sometime.


My grandfather suggested that he wanted the old bicycle out of his back patio and myself, wanted to learn to ride. So after much talking between my grandfather and our US captor I was finally allowed the old bicycle.

A little something I also learned about the law of gravity, that another time later on when I was again by myself; which I have spent the majority of my life in this situation. I fell out of a peach tree and caught an extended limb on the way down, while swing back and forth; skinning the inside of my arms with the tree bark, at least I did not break anything. For it has always been said, that sudden stop when you hit the ground; you usually break an arm, leg or worse. My US captor when he found out what happened, went and cut off the very limb that had saved me.

After it was taken back to were we were living, for a little time I actually did not get to ride much, but one day I made up my mind I was going to do so no matter what. Our US captor did not think I would ever accomplish the feat especially with no one to help me and no one ever did help me learn to ride a bicycle; I learned myself by the way of gravity, until I gained the ability of balance.

As I began, I fell numerous times until I looked more as a boxer dummy or road kill with all kinds of cuts, scrapes and a black eye. But I finally learned.


Some how and I am not sure how it came about, my mother talked our US captor into allowing me a new bicycle, if I was able to show him I could ride perfectly; he thought he had an edge that he would never have to buy the bicycle, for I would never learn in the manner designated.


On a Saturday morning, I was able to show that I could ride in the manner that was acceptable and beforehand; had also decided on the bicycle I wanted if I did succeeded.


"The Cadillac of all bicycles," a blue Schwinn girls bicycle; what I thought was the most beautiful in the shop. After it came back to the apartment were we where living, within an hour I got my first flat tire but learned about fix-a-flat; trying to ride in a very nearby field. While I could ride the bicycle, I was never allowed to ride very far and the color, while had been ask many times why blue for it was thought an unusual color for a girls bicycle-one day, I asked a certain cousin what his favorite color was; he said, "blue." I happened to like the color, also-but the color was for him.




As to the old bicycle, it turned out to belong to a young relative of the US captor and it was returned to her; while she was upset with grandfather and myself about it, grandfather felt she had abandoned it in his back patio and told her so and that everything did turn out agreeable for all concerned.

But only had my bicycle about four years, like so many things; this bicycle was taken a way; even after much protest from myself, it still was lost. As to how the bicycle appeared by this time, almost in mint condition for not what I had to go through to get the bicycle; but I enjoyed riding it when I could, even Diane the dog would walk beside me at times just before the bicycle was taken away and we would have an enjoyable time. I happened to had the bicycle taken away first, then Diane came later.

As for the Schwinn company, they do make wonderful bicycles; which I complement them on how they do there chains, for I had seen other children's chains come loose or fall off and my Schwinn bicycle never did.-HRM Deborah

Forgotten Sunshine

Sitting alone in a crowded space not realizing the world concerning them, was always in a frenzy. For I have never actually had, what one would call; a "personal life."

I sit to often all alone

Without care or whim

No one came to knock on my door

Neither in snow, wind or rain.

I am here, I shout

To no avail.

Sitting in a window seat,
Chintz curtains all about

Gazing out at winter's dew

With tear stained reddened cheeks,

Wondering where,

I shall go from here.

-HRM Deborah (2008)

It is a good feeling to know that being forcibly hidden behind US prison walls all these years, I was never forgotten. The most important things that happen to people doesn't have balloons and confetti flying in air or even a parade band; but you know it is there. Usually the answer to what may appear as the hardest of questions is actually simple,  just see the forest beyond the trees.

While it is thought most people can go about there day doing as they please, myself being a US prisoner have not had this luxury most of my life; which I would learn is called "Social Isolationism" and it is a form of US torture.

As the US apparently attempted to either make me depressed or have some other problem, it has never occurred.

Something I also learned many years ago, no matter what the US prison walls may look like one can always find ways not to let them bother so much especially if the restricted walls have always been there in some manner.

Furthermore, while one would think me being a US political prisoner in the way I have to be at this time, that I am able to go as I please; while I am still under tight restrictions, the US still monitors me 24/7 even now and the walls have not diminished nor really has the US's maltreatment towards me.

Nevertheless, something I have observed over time is that Americans tend to be very self-absorbed and too uptight; they never seem to take the time to laugh or walk even a little bit in the sunshine. Maybe, this is a reason that Americans have a higher rate of mental illness then most other countries.

"You can talk to me"...no matter whom you may be.

Missed My Pot of Gold

"I'm sailing away"- for she was being forgotten by mankind when they saw one speck of light after being in the gloom; for she was still not free to face the life ahead of her. So Allah (Hashem) wanted to take her back from once she came, due the promises made years ago in prayer to Allah (Hashem) that are being unkept; for her to appear. For He creates unto her, a heartbroken silence that fell upon human deafness that could last forever. For she will began to evolve, as once she came. The Angels will come to retrieve her and began to pass the harsh judgement upon mankind. But the righteous ones has one last chance to reverse the silence and free her themselves; before the Angels come. For she will never forgot her childhood memories in happiness and in sorrow, on an Eastern sky. For the destructive effects from Allah (Hashem) is already being felt across the earth and in hell, as a boiling three-minute egg; waiting for the timer to chime. For the exact moment is only known by events already unfolded, by Allah (Hashem) and an enkindling unto her.

Living Out of a Suitcase

"A rolling stone gathers no moss, but does gather a high polish."-HRM Zaytuna (1948- ?)

Mother and I were forced to travel so much until 1982, that it got were we did not even bother to unpack much and eventually began to wear what was considered serviceable travel clothing. When we eventually ended up in Siberia Death Camp, there was still a few boxes unpacked that belonged to Mother. But almost everything her and I may of had, our US captor stole and it vanished. I was only able to save a few things, thanks to my first husband and my Mother.



Who would ever believe that HRM Dora and my Mother ever did clam digging, with the legs of there pants roll-up; just some above the ankle. Mother said once, it had to do with the beach sand.

Mount St Helens eruption on 18 May 1980

Being forced to travel as much as I have as a US political prisoner, I have seen some of the worse weather the US has had to offer, from tornadoes, blizzards with snow higher then myself in sub-zero temperatures so cold, an automobile can over-heat and lungs can freeze; ice storms, baseball and gulf ball size hailstorms, heavy rain, earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, fire, extreme heat, winds so fierce that it actually lifted a human and even went through the fallout from the eruption of Mount St Helens.

 

One place Mother and I lived, when one went to bathe; out of the water facet would come tadpoles, small fish and leaves. The water supply was trying to dry-up. The only heat in winter was an insufficient makeshift wood stove that created more smoke than heat and the poorly cooking stove stopped working. It could get so cold, one would wear extra clothes and actually take the rugs off the floor trying to stay warm.  One did not put anything in the clothing cupboards, for the mildew would destroy it due to the excessive dampness; the mildrew would actually turn the clothing item to a forest green. When it rained outside, one had to be careful of water sinkholes; for they were dangerous, similar to quicksand.

Mother and I, have also been forced to live in some of the worse conditions possible; that once even scared a dog for the filth and have been subjected to food that was uneatable, that even wildlife ran from it, literally. While my Mother did not cook the food, but it came from some place else; she as well as I, was happy the wildlife ran away. The stench of that food, was horrible. Our US captor, claimed it was in this particular incident; as being some sort of barbecue. For there had been several other incidents having to do with our US captor and food.

I have also seen cold black tarantula's the size of cup saucers, they seemed to like hanging on inside walls and cat's will attack them.

Radio Ga Ga

When I was a teenager, I listen on a radio just like this one; usually in my room when I had one or got to listen to the radio when I could lay in the grass outside with a dog named Diane near by and sometimes reading a book. Not realizing how much those on the outside cared about me.-HRM Deborah

Harvesting Sabra

An Israeli boy harvests prickly pear fruit, from “Sabra” Cactus in the village of Nilin on 13 July 2010.

An Israeli man picks prickly pear fruit, from “Sabra” Cactus in the village of Nilin on 13 July 2010.

Boxes are filled with prickly pear fruit, from “Sabra” Cactus in the village of Nilin on 13 July 2010.

The Sabra Cactus was originally imported from Mexico in the 1600’s and over time began to grow abundantly in Israel. The term “Sabra” is also a nickname of any native-born Israeli, symbolic of being tough and prickly on the outside, but soft and sweet on the inside.

The shadow of an Israeli fellow is cast on a wall adorned with graffiti in Gaza City on 17 July 2010. Protests on land and by the sea along with a youth sit-in, which has been ongoing for today and yesterday for the release of HRM Deborah of Israel; with some people becoming impatient that she has not been released and allowed to return home to Israel from US harsh imprisonment. As for Bama, all he contends is his ever continuing one-day Bribery deal; which is detrimental to the Queen and Israel nor will the Queen accept any form of criminal behavior. Needlesss to say, especially at the cost of any person, place or understanding. Something that even I am having a bit of comprehension difficulties is the overwhelming importance this seems to be to Allah (Hashem), for what little I am allowed to see; apparently, others are seeing a more greatness of what He is doing on this issue of me being returned home.

The first time I actually got to see a Sabra Cactus was in Siberia, for it also grew abundantly there; but never seemed to actually bear very much fruit. I never got to eat any of the fruit, even though my mother had mentioned one day on how to pick what underdeveloped fruit there was; due to the soil being called, "worn-out." This US death camp had at one time been apart of the old US cotton belt, which cotton has been well-known to deplete nutrients from the soil and is extremely difficult to replenish.

But one had to be cautious with livestock, due to them not eating the fruit part but trying to eat the cactus itself and it would injure there mouths. It never occurred in Siberia, but had been seen especially in sheep that had this infliction. If untreated the sheep could become malnutrition and die, I had been told.

These particular cactus can also flatten a tire on a small tractor, if one happened to run over apart of them by accident.

Boys carry boxes of prickly pear fruit, picked from “Sabra” Cactus in the village of Nilin on 13 July 2010.

In Siberia, was also where I first heard the nickname of being a “Sabra;” not just by reading a second-hand Israeli school textbook I found one day, but was also mentioned by my mother and later, by my very own people at home.

Even though I was born in US imprisonment, being an Israeli national; I have been called a “Sabra;” several times in my life.-HRM Deborah

Does Americans Approve of Obama?

Alleged US President Barack Obama (C), followed by Gen. David Petraeus (R) and Defense Secretary Robert Gates, (L) arrives in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, 23 June 2010, to announce that Petraeus would replace Gen. Stanley McChrystal in Afghanistan. The change of command was not actually do to some article in a US magazine about Obama, but the fact the US is loosing the war in Afghanistan.



New figures came out on alleged US President Barack Obama’s US approval rating which it shouldn't’t have been a surprise for many; that it continues to plummet.

Far more Americans disapproved of how Obama is handling the job that has more of the earmarks he was unqualified to do, as most Americans seemed to have felt that of the many issues laid on Obama’s White House plate he is unable to accomplish any of them properly or in a timely manner.

For those Americans that did approve, they where at Starbucks at the time having a Frappuccino. When some Americans left this establishment, Obama’s rating dropped considerably more.

It was further found that most Americans are leaning back towards the Republican side of the US political spectrum, than with the Democrats; not withstanding the constant disagreements within the Obama camp itself.

I happened to heard recently a very interesting question from a young American woman and her father works in Washington DC, “Why does Obama need so much help?” What made this type of question even more unusual, she said it over the tele'; as I happened to be channel surfing.

As to my opinion, one can always wish better for others; but so far as in Obama's case, it has not so far and as some Americans keep asking my advice, what am I to do; remember, I am a US prisoner and no, I have never seen the International Red Cross either in over 52 years.

Notwithstanding, were was my human rights when the US kept murdering my family and friends, when I was in a death camp for 13 years (1982-1995) being the only survivor and was being repeatedly tortured almost to death, from the time I was a little girl, too the US going against International Court for my freedom for about two years or the US's continued threats and discriminatory insults?

But yet, here I sit without the end being seen; constantly being tormented in so many way's. As to the first thing I would do if I was freed, I have already replied.

US Holocaust-Dead Muslim and Jewish children from the 1930’s to ? -Innocent

Or should we discuss about the US occupation and how, the US keeps attacking my country in every manner possible?

Not Ebbets Field

I am also not interested in the US's one-day Bribery deals, such as offering to buy me an American hotdog or a donut at Ebbets Field; for example, instead of freedom. Has Bama and George Mitchell learned yet, that bribing heads of government is still an international crime with a large penalty towards the perpetrators attempting initiate said crime. While I’ll never be interested in such as this being for anti-crime and the preservation of humanity. Nevertheless, the US excessively harassing me in an attempt to commit a crime; just makes them appear more as a donkey’s behind sitting down. As to the issue concerning my freedom, the US continues to break international law concerning my release and is chalking-up a considerable war crimes charge sheet.

For those that may not know, Ebbets (baseball) Field in a section of Brooklyn, New York; was demolished in 1960 and replaced with apartment buildings, due to Anti-Semitism in the US.


It was the home of the Brooklyn Dodgers, who had some of the best Jewish baseball players in the history of US baseball, was considered the best baseball team ever in history of the game and allowed the first African-American to play for the ball club-one Jackie Robinson-when other baseball clubs were still discriminating against not just African-American, but also Jewish players.

Miss Genevieve Ebbets, youngest daughter of Charles Ebbets (He financed the building of Ebbets Field in 1912 and was the owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers), throws out the first ball to kick off the 1913 season at Ebbets Field. Charles Ebbets was the person that felt baseball should be a family sport and even went so far as to market it as such- as the saying goes, "It's about family." Even the players themselves, with the team they were playing with felt it was like a family.

“Ethnic prejudice has no place in sports and baseball must recognize that truth if it is to maintain statue as a national game.”- Branch Rickey

This was also back when baseball was more of a real game compared to today, which appears more as ballet; instead of baseball.

It was predominately African-American, Jewish or Muslim children that played “Stickball.” The above photograph is from 1950.

Also, many neighborhood children and families couldn't wait to get out into the street or yard, with sometimes a makeshift bat and such; to play baseball, my mother and I included. I stopped playing at about 10-years-old; except when required for school and stopped watching very much baseball after a world series game, when a player got his neck broken while catching a fly ball and broke through one of the wooden sign post backboards that use to surround some fields. The baseball player, who over the years I have forgotten there name, did die that day.

The Brooklyn Dodgers were at the height of their popularity, having won their first World Series Championship in 1955. When early in 1956, the Dodgers were invited by Matsutaro Shoriki, the founder of the Yomiuri Shimbun and the “father of Japanese professional baseball,” to make a trip to Nippon (Japan) following the regular season. Baseball had long been an extremely popular sport in Nippon (Japan) and in 1956 the Brooklyn Dodgers traveled to Tokyo for an exhibition game. They were greeted with much enthusiasm. By 1957, the Brooklyn Dodgers would be dissolved due to discrimination; with the false claim appearing that they had moved to Los Angeles without even a baseball field to play in. For a time this new team had to play in a football field, which was not actually equipped for baseball.

As to who introduced me to baseball, while one may seem surprised; it was my mother; for she loved the game as a child, too. She use to play with her brothers and some said, as I did when I was a child; for one cannot beat a good game of “stickball.”


But every so often if one ever has played baseball, you miss that good catch with someone and remember, the dirty knees sliding into home base, the feel of the baseball or the smell of the glove.

Nevertheless, like so many in 1960 with myself included; Ebbets Field should have never been demolished, especially because of discrimination; along with dissolving the real Brooklyn Dodgers.-HRM Deborah


Mopping-up Bama

One hears that Bama is planning to campaign once again to be alleged US President for a second term.
But it is a wonder with many in the US government having to walk beyond him and mop up with damage control, the extra staff Bama hired for his apparent lack of experience or education, his popularity being all washed-up and the global community finding him as an immorally uncouth, overbearing ragged misfit with mental instabilities and now dying of AIDS.

Where does Bama even get the conception he would be accepted in another term as with the last fellow namely George W. Bush, that was in office before him; that after two major failures the American populace wants more of a fresh change to better government than what Bama has shown thus far.

Furthermore, it has nothing to do with his middle name; as Bama tends to use as a ruse for his extensive insecurities and inaccuracies; for there is nothing wrong with his middle name, but quite too the contrary. Unless, Bama has found the discrimination created by the US itself has caused a further mental fallacy on his part.

Nevertheless, with Bama's obsession about human weight, it has became an ever growing issue concerning him suffering from some type of eating disorder; especially with his appearance of extreme thinness and if, medical attention should be sought.

As to Bama allegedly trying to mend the US imploding economy, he followed the same failed trail of measures as occurred in the very similar instance in the US’s Great Depression of the 1930’s with the same exact results. But one would have thought they had learned in the 21st century of the failures of the last century and seek to do the same thing.

'Something I have often wondered instead of taking the immoral character potholed road that children of Bama’s background usually take, why doesn’t he help them to have a better life and a future; instead of what he has been doing hitting at others creating so much discontent and sorrow too people that had nothing to do with what happened to him, too the neglect of children that have been born illegitimate; like himself?


In turn, Bama would feel better even about himself and the world around him.

One thing that is very good is to kick those rocks with a shoe once in awhile, for it not only helps one to think; but makes one feel better and remember, where there is a will there is a way; when the intent is for good without the tempered sword.'

It has gotten more along the lines of so long, good riddance and goodbye!

Let Them Eat Cake


(L-R) First lady Michelle Obama, Sasha Obama, Indonesian alleged US President Barack Obama “Bama” and Malia Obama walk toward Marine One while departing the White House on 16 July 2010 in Washington, DC. Bama and his family traveled to Bar Harbor, Maine for the weekend; by way of a smaller version of Air Force One.

It has been strongly suggested that because the US is in such a terrible state of economic affairs and it is becoming more clear that Bama can not handle his job, that he choose a more secluded quick getaway in the prosperous part of Maine.

While Bama has claimed he cannot afforded to help others or mend the countries woes, but he was able to use US taxpayer funds to pay for his air travel; I wonder who paid for his coconut ice cream, he was photographed eating?

One further wonders if a US poll was taken, how many Americans could afford to visit an ice cream store; let alone get an ice cream.

Nevertheless, what some people may not know and is on a bit of a different note; but does have to do with travel. That foreign delegates such as from Israel, are not allowed to visit the US except Washington DC or New York; that for instance, they would not be allowed to visit Maine on a holiday and eat a coconut ice cream.

Myself being a US prisoner, the US would have a conniption if I had ever wished to visit Maine for instance; but the funny part, is I have never had a desire too do so even for some clam chowder.

Bama: Actor or US President

Bama on ABC's "The View:" The vast majority of Americans did not find it in very good taste for there alleged US President to be appearing on a daytime talk show.

With several comments, of what was Bama doing with the many dire situations that Americans are having to face; especially with unemployment at record numbers an continuing to grow past the 1930’s Great Depression. Further, that this latest appearance on television was not good for a person in his alleged position; let alone, a question to the use of his time and accusations of Bama circumventing conventional media.

As Bama’s popularity keeps persistently dropping, can he afford this appearance or is the next stint on a daytime soap opera, too Jerry Springer as was suggested by an American.

There was a few comments that was just in questionable taste concerning Bama “chucking a spear.”



Bama Chaos

9 August 2010: Very recently, those reporting in the US news media has exclaimed about excessive chaos in the Bama White House even some that have been White House correspondents for several administrations; who seem to be shaking there heads in utter disbelief of the overwhelming dysfunction.

4 September 2010: The latest statistics concerning Bama's popularity is at an all time low, if one would ask how low; Bama would have to charge the US taxpayers for batteries for his torch for the excessive hole he has dug for himself not just globally with his latest malicious peace plan, but in the US as well towards the drop bottom economy.

Bama says he's committed to helping the US's "Middle Class," its seems he forgot a portion of US economic history when it was declared by the US themselves about twenty-years ago, that the portion used to be known as "Middle Class" no longer existed.

As to the US not approving how Israel is doing these days, accept for the US Occupation being in the country; we as a people happen to enjoy how we are very much.

Alleged US President Barack Obama listens to  questions on a range of topics including the performance of the US's imploding economy during a news conference in the East Room of the White House on 10 September 2010 in Washington, DC.



Hawaii Disturbed

Alleged US President Barack Obama's motorcade drives near the shoreline as in Waialua, Hawaii on 30 December 2010.


Obama's popularity is so low, he has an ambulance painted black as apart of his motorcade. No other dignitary in the world, has such an addition to there motorcade; not even in a US Occupation/war zone country.

Since Obama has been in Hawaii, across from his rental housing; he has had one anti-Obama, Obama  policies and anti-war protests one after another.

It has came down too, Americans and those within the US government are disgusted with Obama!  In second place of American disgust, is US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

Egyptian firemen try to put out a fire on a vehicle following a car bombing in front of a Coptic Christian church in the Egyptian city of Alexandria, Egypt, early 1 January 2011.

Recently, a Coptic priest with ancient writings was brought into the US and the information US was attempting to retrieve from the priest failed, due to the US's transgressions and in return, Obama ordered a US terrorist car bombing of  a Coptic Christian church in Alexandria, Egypt; murdering at least 21 Christians, injuring at least 80 Christians during a mass.-HRM Deborah

The US would be overcome with a dark hour, a great hardship of a non-US criminal of this caliber who would rape and murder them as cold as the deepest winter day and wreck havoc upon the world with his delusions of grandeur instructed by his Indonesian criminally insane, prostitute mother. For he had no father, nor a "step-father." Nevertheless, his mother was afraid of light and an Archangel that is upon the earth through righteous prayers. Obama's mother's hereditary mental instabilities became so severe, she was taken to a Jakarta Mental Institution; where she died at a fairly young age. As to this man using the stolen name of Obama, his real family has an extensive history in prostitution and crime. It was also brought to my attention recently, that his half sister; is in prostitution and has the same type of mental illness as her mother. Furthermore, as to this man calling himself Obama; I am yet to wonder how much it cost out of the stolen money from the three murdered Muslim men in Indonesia, to bribe a Hawaiian records clerk to create a falsified birth certificate and how much money, too other endeavors this man has so far stolen from Americans as a whole thus far, since he has been illegally in the US.